I asked her: "Who's Andrew, and won't he be missing his wallet?"
Her reply was: "Andrew is my wallet." As in, her wallet has a name, and that name is Andrew. When I burst out laughing, she told me that once she also had a toothbrush named George. So yes, for the record, everyone in my family is weird.
For instance, take my 99-year-old grandmother, a.k.a. Bubbe. Her mind is in great shape, but her body, not so much anymore. She gets around with a cane and a walker, and she tires quickly. She doesn't do more than one or two stairs at a time. So when she decided that she wanted to travel out to West Lake to see my father and step-mom's new house, and was insistent that she would take the train by herself, we were all a bit dubious.
Eventually it was arranged that she would bum a ride out to the house with someone else who was making the journey, and on the way back she would take the train with my sister. I let her know that if she called ahead, Via Rail would arrange to have whatever assistance she needed ready for her. I had previously seen a wheelchair-bound passenger lifted off the train on a little scissor lift. Sure enough, that was how they got her onto the train in Belleville.
My Bubbe was very pleased to have two hours to chat with my sister on the train. When they arrived at Union station in Toronto, the last stop, the Via staff wanted to clear out all the passengers and luggage before they dealt with Bubbe. Even my sister was asked to wait on the platform. So Bubbe ended up waiting by herself in the train for quite some time while everyone else disembarked and the scissor lift was rolled into place.
When the staff were finally ready to move their special passenger, they got back onto the train... and she wasn't there. They walked all up and down the car looking for her. She wasn't in any of the seats, or in the washroom, or (thank goodness) on the floor. Finally they figured out that while they were taking their sweet time getting the lift set up, she ran out of patience and somehow got herself down the stairs out the back door, at the far end of the car. She was waiting for my sister just down the platform.
As my sister said, that is so Bubbe!
P.S. I said last time that I would tell you all about my birthday, so here goes: It was great. I got lots of love and cake; plenty of gifts and cards. Thanks for all your good wishes! :-)