tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5620546355443994788.post1963181383267365019..comments2023-08-15T11:03:58.591-04:00Comments on Adventures in Sparkland: Family GossipSparkling Redhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12799366562472325812noreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5620546355443994788.post-1548797933796952592009-06-30T10:07:19.842-04:002009-06-30T10:07:19.842-04:00i understand what unsigned is saying but i have to...i understand what unsigned is saying but i have to say that in the end it really does hurt not to have your family around. most of my family and i do not get along thanks to my mother and i have never set the record straight because i feel i dont need to defend myself. also because i think that being almost 27 my family should see that i am no longer the 17 year old my mom complained about and adult enough to have a conversation. i am sorry that your family acts like that. at one point when i was considering getting married i didn't have anyone in my family that i would invite. <br />most days i like that i don't have to deal with the headache of my family but then there are some days when i am overwhelmed with sadness that i can't go to my mother for help when i need it. <br />i hope it gets better for you!! you have more restraint than i do, i would have opened my mouth lol and given them a piece of my mind.Katiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02440189260684841008noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5620546355443994788.post-26643045756403475012009-06-29T21:31:49.036-04:002009-06-29T21:31:49.036-04:00Queen Lindsay: 1.5 hours is a good, safe distance...Queen Lindsay: 1.5 hours is a good, safe distance. I need to start looking for a job in St. Catherines. I hear that's a really nice little town...<br /><br />Aurora: What do they get out of it? A sense of superiority I guess. And power? Or the illusion thereof. :-pSparkling Redhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12799366562472325812noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5620546355443994788.post-68451280391984456042009-06-28T17:58:55.263-04:002009-06-28T17:58:55.263-04:00That sucks. It's human for them to be offended...That sucks. It's human for them to be offended, but how mean and rude of them to refuse your invitation, and now to refuse your apologies. <br /><br />I can see why you apologized: for your mother, and to avoid conflict. But what do they get out of holding that grudge, practically? Is it some kind of bargaining chip when they talk to your dad or mother?Emma Gorst https://www.blogger.com/profile/09692637018538270794noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5620546355443994788.post-27552231862579651892009-06-28T15:20:50.981-04:002009-06-28T15:20:50.981-04:00Geez, talk about some drama. Don't worry you&#...Geez, talk about some drama. Don't worry you're not alone, my family has the crazies also..that's why I live an hour and a half away from them. *snicker*Queen Lindsayhttp://www.queenofrelationships.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5620546355443994788.post-49821086434490654062009-06-27T21:11:29.395-04:002009-06-27T21:11:29.395-04:00Scarlet: I've added that book to my wish list...Scarlet: I've added that book to my wish list. Thanks for the suggestion; there are thousands of spiritual books out there and it's hard to know which ones are really good.<br /><br />Nicole: You're a wise woman! I'll keep being nice until my grandparents aren't around to care anymore. Then I'll be happy to let my aunt and uncle fade out from my life.<br /><br />Joe: That is so sad! I suppose the saddest thing about fighting with my aunt and uncle is that their daughter (my cousin) is a pretty decent person. I wonder where she'll end up in all of this...Sparkling Redhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12799366562472325812noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5620546355443994788.post-69757730065147266952009-06-27T09:36:35.885-04:002009-06-27T09:36:35.885-04:00This sounds so familiar to me. Families fighting, ...This sounds so familiar to me. Families fighting, then not talking for years, normally over something pathetically small too.<br /><br />Last time it happened it was my mother and her sister. Sad thing is they only sorted the problem out when my mother found out her sister was dying of cancer. All those wasted years and then it was too late. Sad thing is they didn't even remember what it was they originally fell out about.<br /><br />That says it all. Life's too short.LL Cool Joehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13916666100971008775noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5620546355443994788.post-33781444348839257252009-06-26T09:31:11.388-04:002009-06-26T09:31:11.388-04:00One of the reasons I have nothing to do with any u...One of the reasons I have nothing to do with any uncles and aunts.<br />All it does if they ever get in contact is, produce a lot of trouble.<br />sigh....Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06735273216574108695noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5620546355443994788.post-85313586276791382092009-06-25T17:32:20.372-04:002009-06-25T17:32:20.372-04:00What a mess and how horrible that they don't w...What a mess and how horrible that they don't want to move past this.<br /><br />There is a wonderful book by John Bevere called "The Bait of Satan," which talks about offense. It's all about it...and it helped me tremendously in my Christian walk. You might want to take a peek at it.<br /><br />Good luck!! Your heart is in the right place and you've done the right thing!Scarlethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17560614073319109150noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5620546355443994788.post-38920408782143563072009-06-25T13:48:37.024-04:002009-06-25T13:48:37.024-04:00Unsigned: I wish it were that simple.
Vanessa: ...Unsigned: I wish it were that simple.<br /><br />Vanessa: Very true. I'm going to take a middle path between the two extremes. They're not getting another invitation, but other than that I'm going to act "normal" around them. It's for the sake of my grandparents, and my mom.<br /><br />Jenski: Venting helps, but not half as much as all the supportive comments! :-)<br /><br />Jameil: Events like this make me wish that I didn't live in the same city as my entire extended family.<br /><br />darcknyt: Thanks! :-)<br />There is one alcoholic in my family. Rage was commonly and abundantly expressed in my childhood home... but no fistfights. Just the occasional smack to the face. Living with the threat of violence is nerve-racking, but not as bad as living with a lot of actual violence. Anyway, it does sound like our families of origin were very similar. Shall we adopt each other as cousins?<br /><br />Ron: Thanks. Actually, once my mom's parents pass on I will have a lot less interest in "keeping the family together". As I expect we all will. I'm not always so nice. The other day I took great pleasure in imagining exactly what my aunt will look like dead. That's not very nice at all.<br /><br />wigsf: Your family must be similar to mine. That's pretty much what I do most of the time. It's only once in a while that I get fully riled up about the family madness. Usually I can just shrug it off.<br /><br />Dianne: I have some good blood relatives, and also some great "adopted" family. I feel lucky to be surrounded by so many people who care about me, including my Blog Family! ;-)<br /><br />powerdergirl: Woohoo! You go, girl. Truly, sometimes I'd like nothing more than to give them the finger and never talk to them again. One day I just might.<br /><br />Nilsa: It's good to hear that you've worked out a liveable relationship with your family. That gives me hope and encouragement.Sparkling Redhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12799366562472325812noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5620546355443994788.post-30625563508886774622009-06-25T12:06:59.008-04:002009-06-25T12:06:59.008-04:00I think a lot of people have family members who mi...I think a lot of people have family members who misbehave in one way or another. The thing we have to remind ourselves is just because they are family does not mean they have to be friends. We do not have to love nor get along with our whole family. However, we have to respect that others we love do get along with those members. Many years ago, I learned I am not obligated to spend time with those family members who bother me. And since I started acting on that realization, my life has found a new sense of calm and peace.Nilsa @ SoMi Speakshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08474642034399063234noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5620546355443994788.post-85975376841020327392009-06-25T11:39:04.760-04:002009-06-25T11:39:04.760-04:00My Goodness!
The day my family wants me to jump th...My Goodness!<br />The day my family wants me to jump through hoops just to hold onto their love?<br /><br />They can take a flying f**k<br /><br />I know love is work, but it's not that much work. They're lucky to have and they should figure that out : )anonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03703233313854600531noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5620546355443994788.post-63797453130780013932009-06-25T10:27:30.896-04:002009-06-25T10:27:30.896-04:00Looks like it's almost unanimous!Looks like it's almost unanimous!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5620546355443994788.post-19349170507411246052009-06-25T09:35:06.084-04:002009-06-25T09:35:06.084-04:00that last paragraph says so much - that is how mos...that last paragraph says so much - that is how most of my family operates<br /><br />it has been difficult but over time I have let go of a lot of them<br /><br />I have even gotten to the place where I tell those I still have a relationship with to not include me in conversations or gatherings<br /><br />my "family" consists mostly of people I'm not related to ;)Diannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02946500110072411468noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5620546355443994788.post-6209625706512766542009-06-25T07:55:20.920-04:002009-06-25T07:55:20.920-04:00You can't pick your family. You're born in...You can't pick your family. You're born into a family and you're stuck with them.<br />If your family are all welcoming, gracious and friendly people, there's never any problem that can't be settled over a cup of coffee and some cake. (That's what Italians do; it may be a different beverage and food for Jews, I wouldn't know.)<br />But, if you're born into a family with an asshole, you're stuck dealing with that asshole for the rest of your life. And I can certainly understand what it's like to be born into a family of backstabbers, cheats, low-lifes and assholes.<br />All you can do is be the bigger person and swallow your pride and listen to their insults, greivances and displeasures with your honesty and sensitivities.wigsfhttp://whatigotsofar.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5620546355443994788.post-46620227623213353072009-06-25T06:59:19.051-04:002009-06-25T06:59:19.051-04:00I find myself agreeing with Unsigned. The people t...I find myself agreeing with Unsigned. The people that seem to find joy in taking offense and then holding onto it will never be happy until the world is as miserable as they are. I have a feeling you're to nice to take the F-them route I would follow so I will just wish you the best :)Warped Mind of Ronhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15670039992710968421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5620546355443994788.post-10628769914302428962009-06-24T23:30:12.265-04:002009-06-24T23:30:12.265-04:00The more I read this, the more I was convinced we&...The more I read this, the more I was convinced we're from the same family and just don't know it. I have to remind myself you're Canadian to break the spell -- it's that freaky.<br /><br />On the other hand, you don't add in the alcoholic rages and fist fights, so it's just my imagination.<br /><br />Still, as Vanessa said, I've addressed my family issues in a different way than most people would, and she did too. So while most people shrug and say, "They're my family, what am I going to do?", we shrug and say, "Hey, I wouldn't tolerate this from people I don't share DNA with; what makes it different from people with whom I DO share DNA?"<br /><br />I hope things work out to your advantage. You're much too nice a person to have to be tormented with these sorts of matters.<br /><br />:)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5620546355443994788.post-34027494990071479762009-06-24T23:08:28.547-04:002009-06-24T23:08:28.547-04:00ha! the last part seems to sum it up perfectly! ...ha! the last part seems to sum it up perfectly! serves them right! i have so much family i just get tired of all of them sometimes. even the ones who haven't done anything. i don't get crazy with them. i just disappear or ignore their (what i deem as fake) quests to "get together next time i'm home." wack.Jameilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02242625946552047911noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5620546355443994788.post-48971463925134725842009-06-24T21:06:47.071-04:002009-06-24T21:06:47.071-04:00Arg. That stinks that your aunt and uncle are so u...Arg. That stinks that your aunt and uncle are so unwilling to let go misunderstandings from 3 years ago. Weird that you could clear up recent events and this is what they are focusing on. I hope they eventually can let it go. I hope venting helped you!!Jenskihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05368202166540468533noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5620546355443994788.post-22448965680671918232009-06-24T20:14:01.275-04:002009-06-24T20:14:01.275-04:00Wow! I can sort of relate, which is why I basical...Wow! I can sort of relate, which is why I basically did what "unsigned" above recommended, and now it's no longer a problem for me and life has been pretty peaceful in that regard.<br /><br />Most don't respond that way though, and still want to maintain some semblance of a family relationship. And clearly your mother's feelings mean a lot to you. <br /><br />Is it possible that instead of hosting dinner parties in your place, could you maybe take the whole family to a restaurant or something? Or perhaps just a dessert and coffee at your place instead of a full course meal? <br /><br />Of course, family relationship are a 2-way street, and ultimately you're not responsible for their actions. If they choose to hold a grudge despite your apologies, then that's on them.Vanessahttp://darcsfalcon.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5620546355443994788.post-49128369525082771662009-06-24T19:00:39.424-04:002009-06-24T19:00:39.424-04:00Wow they sound like a bunch of assholes. Why would...Wow they sound like a bunch of assholes. Why would you ever want them over at all. I'd let them stay mad so you never have to see them again.<br /><br />Problem solved.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com