Yesterday I went back to work. On the way there, I almost asked the cab driver to turn around and take me home again. I was shaky, but I persevered.
The virus did a number on my nerves. I felt so sensitized for a few days there that I could barely handle leaving the house. Simple things, like riding in a car on a beautiful, sunny day with the window down, were too much to handle. My neurons went OMG! TOO MUCH MOTION! TOO BRIGHT! WHAT IS THIS OFFENSIVE AIR BLOWING ON MY FACE? PANIC! PAAAAANIIIIIIIIC!
As my heart revved up to a wild gallop, I'd be consciously talking myself down. Relax. It's just a car ride. This is all totally normal. Stop over-reacting.
That's how I got to work. Once I arrived, I had to sit quietly in my office with the door closed for half an hour until I stopped feeling like I might pass out. I asked myself if I had possibly made a mistake in coming back too soon.
Fortunately, as the hours passed, I got re-acclimatized to the office environment. I shuffled around with the equivalent energy of a wet dishrag, but I was damn glad to be there.
I'm still mainly eating baby food. That and toast, hard-boiled eggs, and a little peanut butter. You know, baby food is actually pretty great stuff. It's the healthiest prepared food you can buy. It has no preservatives and, more importantly, almost no sodium. I'm talking about the ones with meat and vegetables combined in a jar. I can throw one over a portion of brown rice, zap it in the microwave, and have a balanced lunch in two minutes. I can see this being a lazy-dinner option that I might occasionally fall back on even once I'm healthy again.
Today I'm good. Still tired, but the racing heart thing seems to be gone. Granted, I won't be exercising for the next few days, just to be on the safe side. Could be worse. Free excuse to not exercise. Anyone jealous of me now?
10 comments:
Offensive air in a cab, really?
Am kinda jealous of being able to eat baby food though.
My older daughter loves baby food. I did find it worrying. The thought of you making yourself a normal meal using it, is even more worrying.
Glad you feel better! I don't use an excuse, I just don't exercise. ;-)
I went to a baby shower once where we had to taste baby food and guess what it was (it was a game) - I thought it was all kind of awful. But I could see eating it if it was all you can stomach.
I just don't exercise (right now) either. :)
Baby food is cool...at the very least, it was the one thing that my late grandfather was able to eat while in the last stages of cancer.
That and Guinness Dark Ale.
Sorry to be downer with that one, but that was the first memory that popped up.
Glad to hear that you're back to work though.
wigsf3: I have been feeling jealous of the people who can eat adult food. That being said, I turned the proverbial corner today and ate two slices of pizza (no cheese). Yay for chewing! And taste!
LL Cool Joe: I can see how it appears odd, but it's just pureed grownup food, like a bowl of soup without much seasoning. As long as it doesn't become an obsessive, eating-disorder kind of hang-up, there's no harm. I promise I won't dine exclusively on mush from now on. That's not even tempting. If I said I'd had a bowl of soup with buttered toast and two hardboiled eggs for dinner, that wouldn't sound half bad, would it? I hope it's equally harmless for your daughter.
Jenski: I can respect a woman who doesn't feel the need to justify herself. ;-)
Lynn: I have purchased 5 or 6 different flavours of baby food (chicken risotto, beef stroganoff, etc) and they pretty much all taste the same to me!
G: That's not a downer. It's kind of nice to hear that your grandfather could enjoy Guiness Dark Ale all the way through to the end. That must have been a comfort to him.
I like the baby food thing. The ones with meat and veggies seem to be icky though. Maybe it's just me. :)
I'm glad you're doing better though. Still praying.
Glad you are feeling better! I think the banana pudding baby food would still be great!
I ate baby food when I was a kid. Only banana tapioca though. It was like banana pudding. Mmmm. :)
I'm glad you're feeling better, but bummed you're not totally out of the woods yet, Little Red. I'll be praying for your continued healing and wellness. :)
It's been a week of sickness here too. I can totally relate to yuor post.
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