Saturday, July 14, 2012

The Eye of the Beholder

In case you hadn't noticed (or in case you don't live in North America - I'm looking at you LL Cool Joe) this summer has been one long heat wave.  I don't do well at temperatures over 30˚ C (that's 86˚ F).  Toronto, existing as it does at the edge of Lake Ontario, does not know of such a thing as "dry heat".  Instead, we have the Humidex, a handy measurement of how quickly you'll begin to feel that you're suffocating once you venture outside.

The heat has changed my morning routine.  I usually like to start my day slowly, but this summer I'm up and at'em as quickly as I can manage.  I interpret the phrase "beat the heat" as one would "beat the clock".  It's a race for me to get out, get stuff done, and get indoors before 11:30 am, when being outside becomes almost unbearable.

I have lowered my fashion standards. I had not bared my legs in public for many years, because I don't like to expose my collection of purple spider veins.  It didn't matter how hot it got.  I was always willing to put on a pair of opaque tights under my shorts.  However, this summer has broken through my vanity.  At this point, if someone wants to judge my veins, or the slight pruning at the tops of my knees, they can go for it.  Screw it.  My motto for this summer is "It's too hot for shame."

My step-dad appears to have adopted the same motto.  I went to my parents' house this morning, and my step-dad was wandering around the house clad only in his Y-fronts.  I will spare you the details, except to say that he has furry shoulders, and he's almost 74 years old. I'll leave the rest to your imagination.

I was impressed by the fact that he has absolutely no self-consciousness about being almost naked.  His body language remained exactly the same as when he's fully dressed.  I know that my mom wishes he would be more discreet, but I think it's better to err on the side of self-satisfaction.  Some of the saddest people I know are crippled by shame.  It's refreshing to see someone who's free of it.


DarcKnyt said...

This isn't as bad as the summer 1995, when 500 people perished in the heat, here in our area. But it's plenty miserable, and having an old Jalopy for a car without an air conditioner, I'm not excited about our forecast over the next few days.

More power to your stepdad, though. Heh.

Jameil said...

The heat has broken here so I really hope this is the end of it! :) I love it when people are comfortable with their bodies! I'm gonna refrain from researching what y-fronts are to prevent that visual but keep rockin the shorts!

Warped Mind of Ron said...

This heat is why I've been going to work in a thong recently... well the heat and I just look so freaken good in it ;-)

Granny Annie said...

I am bald and try never to go outside without a wig or a cap. This summer that vanity is out the window. I am uncovering my head and everything else I can manage to bare without someone calling the cops:)

Lynn said...

Yes - I am hating the heat, too. I walked outside in 96% humidity yesterday morning. My Saturday walking friend and I left it up to each other, so we did it. I was sopping wet when I was done - even my shoes were wet. This morning - no walking friend - I'm still deciding.

Sparkling Red said...

DarcKnyt: No AC in your car? That's rough. It's all fine and dandy when you're cruising along with the windows wide open, but as soon as you get caught in stop-and-go traffic it's all over.

Jameil: I've often felt admiration for older women who stride confidently along despite not meeting Vogue's beauty standards. I guess I'm aiming to become one of them myself pretty soon. :-)

Ron: LOL Now that's one way to get everyone's attention at work!

Granny Annie: In this heat you could consider baldness to be an advantage! My hair is about as short as it can be without being a buzz cut, and I'm not missing the days when it was all down my back like a fur cape.

Lynn: 96% humidity? Heaven help us. Right now it's 25 C outside and 25 C in my house - but on account of the humidity differential I am keeping my windows firmly closed.

LL Cool Joe said...

Oh shut up all of you!! :D

I haven't worn a t-shirt once this sumer whilst I've been in the UK. It's cold, damp and grey and I'm sick of it.

I'd love nothing more than to walk around in my boxer shorts. :D

DarcsFalcon said...

Heh, step-dad definitely has no shame! That's actually kind of funny. :)

No worries for you either, miss! Lots of women struggle with vein issues so you're not alone out there. :)

This is why I hate heat more than cold. You can always put more on, but there's only so much you can take off. ;)

Stay cool hon!

wigsf3 said...

I think I've worn pants once in the past month. It's been all shorts all the time for me. And I hate wearing shorts.

G. B. Miller said...

The heat has been something else, that's for sure.

We had a good four hour soak last night from a rainstorm and do you think it did a lick of good to get rid of the humidity?

As for being bald, I used to shave my head on Sunday mornings, but with the heat getting so bad in the summer and neither the option of wearing a hat and sweating in pain from razor burn or not wearing a hat and sunburning to seal in the razor burn, I chose to do it just before I go to work.

Sparkling Red said...

LL Cool Joe: I'm surprised that my husband has never, in a fit of absentmindedness, left the house with nothing on top of his boxer shorts. I'm sure he'd dispense with pants entirely if he could get away with it.

DarcsFalcon: If you find harmless eccentricities amusing, my step-dad is a laugh riot. ;-)

wigsf: A male friend of mine who hates shorts and hadn't worn them in years has also been in shorts all this summer. You're in good company.

G.B. Miller: Hmm, that's logical. I'll shave my head just before I go to work tomorrow. ;-)

Jenski said...

This is why I prefer cold weather! It's perfectly acceptable to keep layering on the clothes, not quite so in the opposite case of hot weather. Now, what does your step-dad wear when he goes OUT of the house?