CNE 2012, a photo essay

When I attend the Canadian National Exhibition fair every year, the first place I always head is the petting zoo.  As an animal lover living in a big city with a fur-and-feathers-intolerant husband, I am creature-deprived.  I love being slobbered on by furry-lipped farm friends.  The goats, sheep, and llamas at the petting zoo are always happy to oblige.

Bring on the noms.

When I've had my fill of the petting zoo, I head straight for the farm building, where various agribusiness interests (Dairy Farmers of Canada, Egg Farmers of Canada, etc.) display items/creatures of interest and are available to answer questions.  For example, how long does it take a mechanical milking machine to milk a cow?  5 to 7 minutes.  Then they apply "teat dip" to make sure the cow's udder stays healthy. Do not confuse this with chip dip; it probably doesn't taste very good.

Piglet frenzy!

These piglets were frolicking so energetically that it was impossible to get a non-blurry photo of them.  They were running around and doing a bunny-like jump-wiggle move in mid-air.

Disapproving ostrich.

Timbit the Little Pony

Hey lady, make with the noms, or get out of my face.

(A.k.a. Minature Pony Side-Eye)

Alpacas

Alpaca mug shots.

Can you identify the alpaca in the first photo?

Does this shade of brown make my butt look big?

Nom delishus fence.

This 8-month old heifer (female calf) decided that my right arm looked tasty.  She stuck out her big, rough cow tongue and gave it a thorough licking.  If you are familiar with the roughness of a cat's tongue, a cow's tongue is like that x 10.  I was thoroughly exfoliated.  I didn't care, because I was busy rubbing her velvety neck with my left hand.  Baby cows are so lovely!

After I had been thoroughly slobbered upon, I went to wash up at one of the hand-wash stations they have set up throughout the farm building for that very purpose.  I lathered up to my elbows with antibacterial soap, like they do on Grey's Anatomy.  Well, that soap was pretty irritating to my raw right arm.  The freshly licked areas turned bright red.  My arm burned, stung, and tingled for a full 20 minutes.  I was all OMG I HAVE COW BURN!  Someone call for first aid!  But it settled down and this morning my arm is fine.

After that I was in the mood for some noms myself, so I sought out the food building.

The CNE has made a habit of featuring a new gross extreme food item every year, ever since they introduced deep-fried Mars bars.  After that it was deep-fried Oreos, deep-fried Twinkies, even so-called deep-fried butter.  I guess they decided that the novelty of deep-frying unhealthy crap had worn off, because this year they introduced the Eclair Dog.

Like us on Facebook? I don't think so!

I didn't see anyone eating an Eclair Dog.  I'm not sure if that makes me feel relieved or disappointed.

After lunch I shopped around the mall area and bought a couple of little trinkets.  Then I ended the day with a little of this guy:

I am a professional Rock Balancer.

Does he travel the country balancing rocks at special events year-round?  Does he specialize in rocks, or can you ask him to balance anything?

The fruits of his labour

It's impressive, but I wonder how you get onto this career path.  Was this what his guidance counsellor suggested?  "Jerry, you're failing every subject, but we're impressed by your ability to stand your pencil on end.  I think you need to focus on your strengths.  I mean, strength."

And that was about it!  I sure didn't have time to see everything, so you never know, there may be a second instalment coming soon.