Sunday, September 2, 2012


Yesterday I visited my 96-year-old grandmother.  She never ceases to amaze me.  Her memory is at least as sharp as mine, and she's funnier than most stand-up comedians.

My grandmother signs her e-mails "Love, Bubbe".  Bubbe, or buby, or bubby, is a Yiddish word that doesn't have an official English spelling.  My other grandmother goes by Buby.  My mother has an odd habit of spelling it "Bobby".  Anyway, I was texting someone that I was visiting Bubbe, and my phone auto-corrected it to "Bubbles".

If you knew my grandmother, you'd understand why this is hilarious.  Bubbe is the least ditzy person you can imagine.  Sharp as a tack, practical and down-to-earth, she's just not the type of person you would nickname "Bubbles".  It's funny like the time I texted that I was on my way to a massage and got auto-corrected to "massacre".  Ah, nothing relaxes me at the end of a long day like a good hour-long massacre!

I haven't visited my other grandmother (Buby, or Bobby, as you prefer) in a while, not since my mother told me that they've been having trouble getting her to bathe.  Buby/Bobby has three daughters looking in on her almost daily, plus live-in caregivers.  She's batty enough to defer basic hygiene, but lucid and eloquent enough to resist all the stratagems everyone is using to try to get her clean.  I'm not sure what the next step will be, but I think I'm going to put off seeing her while she's stinky.  She's got lots of people paying attention to her.

Bubbe and I had a good time together.  I showed her my CNE photos, and then we figured out how to program speed-dial numbers into her new cordless phone.  She's good company.  I hope she doesn't decide to stop showering anytime soon.


DarcKnyt said...

Ah, nothing relaxes me at the end of a long day like a good hour-long massacre!

Y'know, me either. :)

Your Bubbe/Buby/Bubby/grandmother sounds like someone special. I'd love to meet her, I think.

Jameil said...

I keep hoping old age will make my grandma nicer. NOPE! Maybe by the time she's 90? At least by 96, please!! I don't like massages but i might be able to get behind a massacre! LOL

Granny Annie said...

AtirnpYou have certainly struck a cord with the "massacre" line.

When you go see "Bubbles" tell her she needs to have some real bubbles more often.

Granny Annie said...

Scarlet, my last comment starts with me trying to enter my word verification for the FOURTH time. I didn't know the cursor was in the wrong place. Any chance you could try going without that process? It is becoming increasingly difficult to figure out the letters.

Sparkling Red said...

DarcKnyt: I wish you could meet her! She'd make you a cup of strong tea and give you advice.

Jameil: I am going to train to be a Registered Massacre Therapist. I'm sure many people would find it therapeutic.

Granny Annie: Okay. The "Boycott American Women" problem seems to have gotten around word verification anyway, so I may as well take it off.

Warped Mind of Ron said...

Isn't it a fact that when you get older you need less sleep and to bathe less often???

Jenski said...

Your Bubbles sounds awesome. :-)

LL Cool Joe said...

We had a cat called Bubble and she fitted the name perfectly. :D

Actually an hour long massage would be a bit like a massacre to me!

I'm back now. :)

Lynn said...

I know - that auto correct thing is maddening sometimes!

DarcsFalcon said...

Oh that auto correct thing drives me crazy sometimes too, lol. :) Hour long massacre indeed! We'll have to start calling you Sparkling Attila! Or Attila the Spark, whichever you prefer. ;)

So, just to make sure I didn't misunderstand - you were talking about 2 Bubbes? One kind of batty, and one funny?

Programming the new phone sounds like a nice way to spend time with a grandmother. It's nice to feel helpful sometimes. :)

Sparkling Red said...

Ron: Where are you getting your "facts" from? Stinkipedia?

Jenski: Actually they are both pretty awesome, each in her own way.

LL Cool Joe: Welcome back!

Lynn: I think it should be called Automistake.

Darcsfalcon: How about Sparky the Hun? ;-)