But seriously, these are things that are actually happening in my life right now:
- A Russian billionaire, rumoured to have ex-KGB bodyguards.
- Corrupt lawyers and accountants.
- Lawsuits, and threatened counter-suits, and threatened counter-counter-suits.
- Meetings being recorded on audio-tape for the record, because no one's word (or memory) can be trusted anymore.
- Top secret information.
- Friends actually becoming enemies, and enemies becoming, if not friends, at least allies.
- Unexpected plot twists, sometimes more than one per day.
- Arson. (Not directly in my office, but in the business next door. No one was hurt. Our suite was filled with stinky smoke and we had to be professionally decontaminated. Probably unrelated to all the other stuff that's going on, but a nice touch, don't you think? Definitely the cherry on the cake of my week.)
In short, all the stuff that you read about or watch in thrillers, depending on whether you're a movie or a book person, is all actually happening in my life. Short of actual murder, kidnapping, and explosions, it's all there. Every stupid plot point that I used to roll my eyes at and say "That would never happen in real life" is happening in my real life.
In closing, I present to you the lame joke that I've recited to everyone at work, because what else is there to say? "We've had floods here, and now a fire. What's next? A volcano? Or Godizilla ripping the roof off?"