Sunday, March 23, 2014

My Welcome Mat Says "Go Away".

It's still too dang cold.  Currently the mercury is sitting at -8C.  (That's 17F for you 'Mericans.  Get with the metric system already!)  Technically I could have gone out for a walk today, but it's just ugly out there at this point.  Nasty, black snowbanks; lots of yellow snow and poopies; ice patches just waiting to sit you down on your bottom.  No thanks.  I think I'll stay in and finish my book.

Which I did!  According to last week's post, I read 200 pages this week, and finished the Afterword To The Paperback Edition this afternoon.  No wonder I've been feeling a little eye-strained.

I did add some excitement to my home by inviting my step-mom and my elder bubbe (she'll be turning 98 in May) over for lunch yesterday.  I kept things pretty simple.  I'm not exactly the hostess with the mostest. I literally cannot remember the last time I had someone over to my place before Saturday.  But I can bake a potato and load it with tasty toppings, open a salad-in-a-bag, and set a pretty table.  Making tea and putting out a plate of cookies wasn't too stressful either.  I do believe that we all enjoyed ourselves.

My lack of hostessing is based on several mutually reinforcing factors.  Firstly: my friends either live way the heck out at the far corners of the GTA, (that's the Greater Toronto Area, or endless urban sprawl, for you 'Mericans) or clustered in one neighbourhood many miles away.  If I'm meeting a friend from the other side of the city, we meet halfway at a restaurant.  If I'm seeing my group of friends who all live in the East End within a couple of blocks of one another, obviously I go to their neck of the woods.

Secondly: I am trying to stay out of the politics of my mom's side of the family.  I don't want to get deeply into this, but there are some people who are downright vicious score-keepers regarding who has done what when and who owes what to whom.  For example, I invited some relatives over to my home when I first moved in, but they were displeased with the way in which I invited them, and therefore refused my invitation.  Now, all y'all know that I am a courteous lady.  It wasn't that I issued the invitation resentfully, or rudely.  They objected to the timing of it.  They were invited over after someone else who they felt was being favoured over them.  (That was not the case.  It was just how it worked out.)

After the offended parties gave me a thorough tongue-lashing by telephone, I did end up rather favouring the other relatives over them.  I never did invite them again.

I think it was the year after that that my health broke down.  Although I am now relatively well, I have not challenged the standing presumption that I don't have the stamina to play hostess.  It's just easier that way.  Not to mention that my condo has a small living/dining room, and I'm honestly not sure if I could fit everyone around my table without moving the sofa out onto the front lawn.

Finally, Ken and I are a couple of stubborn old introverts, and frankly we're resistant to letting Other People into our space.  I know this isn't anything to be proud of, but we are who we are.  How about you guys?  Do you love  a home full of happy, chatting guests, or are you snails who feel there's only room for you in your shell?

9 comments:

Warped Mind of Ron said...

I'm a snail in a shell, no huge surprise there I guess.

Lynn said...

I'm somewhere in between. I have all the stuff to have people over easily, but always have to have someone help me put the leaf in the table. And since I'm single, I don't really enjoy entertaining by myself.

Granny Annie said...

I want guests. I want them to visit the weekend after my housekeeper has been here. Instead they drop by unannounced the day before she is due to clean. On that day my entire house looks like my old college dorm room.

It shocks me that Lynn says she doesn't enjoy entertaining because she is single. What is that about??? I think she is so busy being nice to people all day on her job that she just wants to be a secret grouch at home alone:)

Is your bubbe really almost 98? Wow, I hope I am her someday. She is my idol.

DarcKnyt said...

I'm a snail, for certain, but I do enjoy the idea of being able to have guests. The idea of going to their house is tiring and makes me act weird. It's one thing when it's MY shell, another when it's someone else's shell. Hm...

Still, you're doing good. At least, from my 'Merican perspective. ;)

G. B. Miller said...

That's pretty ticky-tacky of your relatives to be that vindictive.

I am the king of anti-social behavior when it comes to parties, family or otherwise.

I will make an appearance just to prove that I am alive, but other than that, will hibernate in my man cave until the family get together ends.

Jenski said...

Smart to break down and invite your mom and Bubbe over after this winter. It's like a mini-outing without having to brave the cold. Hopefully next winter won't be so long and cold. :-)

I love having people over, but living alone makes it seem more work for one person than I can usually muster right now.

This Old Guy said...

This winter has made a semi-recluse out of me. I'm not interested in going anywhere nor feel the urge to entertain guests myself.

Vanessa T said...

Oh Spark! How sad that your relatives don't seem to realize what a sweet, courteous, would-never-insult-you lady you are!

I think I'm a snail with some entertainment bursts. I used to do it, many years ago - have people over for parties and whatnot. But like you, I'm an introvert and much more comfortable in my own shell. But, I would gladly welcome you in. :) You would be an awesome guest! *hugs*

LL Cool Joe said...

Oh I hate entertaining. I just don't want anyone here, I don't even like the kids having friends here!

Also I can't cook. I could just about do the salad out the bag. :D