Thursday, March 10, 2016

Food, friend, or foe?

It's not always easy to discern the difference between food and not-food.  Here is evidence:

Dog or bagel?

Shar Pei or croissant?

Labradoodle or fried chicken?

Chihuahua or blueberry muffin?

Shar Pei or towel?

Admittedly, towels aren't food.  However.  I think I've made my point.

Segue to: the Jelly Belly candy company's product called Beanboozled.  The flavour menu on the box looks like this:

You picks a colour and you takes your chances.  

A co-worker friend of mine bought some for her kids at Christmas, but after about 5 minutes of taste testing, the kids were done.  My friend brought the two leftover boxes of crazy beans to work with her, to see if anyone would try them.  There were a couple of brave souls who took the plunge.  One guy was so grossed out by the mere thought it that he started retching and had to leave the room.  She didn't manage to give very many of them away.

So guess who got a whole box of these babies to take to Game Night?  This gal right here.  

Flavours vary from one one "edition" to the next, so my set didn't contain any Skunk Spray/Licorice or Moldy Cheese/Caramel Corn, but the remaining flavours quite were sufficient for our purposes.

If only I could share the videos I made...  But sadly I cannot, because ANONYMITY.  So you'll have to settle for a recap.

Toothpaste was the least offensive.  It's just strong mint.  Our box held very few pale green beans, and all of them were lime, no grass clippings. :-(  Even more disappointing, we got plenty of tutti-frutti, but no stinky socks!  Come on, beans, you should let us try at least one each of all the horrible flavours.

Baby wipes were in there, convincing but not too disgusting.  Booger was slightly worse.  "Salty", was how it was described.  We didn't find any rotten eggs, but there were some leftover beans at the end of our experiments, and some of them were yellow, so they might have been in there, lying in wait for us.

The worst two were canned dog food (super-smelly!), which made one of the kids almost puke; and vomit, which Ken described as "unpleasant".  "Like someone ate durian, threw it up, and mixed it with sugar, and I'm eating it."  I offered him a tissue, however, he wouldn't spit it out.  He bravely ate his whole vomit bean, and then complained that it was stuck in his back teeth.

I didn't eat any.  My excuse is that I was too busy doing the video.  Pretty good dodge, right?

Would you try these?  Which flavours would you risk?


DarcKnyt said...




LL Cool Joe said...

My younger daughter shared the foul tasting jelly beans with me. I ate them all, I didn't really find any of them that offensive, but I'll eat anything sweet. :D

Jenny Woolf said...

I already eat too many swees so I wouldn't be tempted, but the idea of them is oddly appealing.... for someone else to try!

G. B. Miller said...

Me? I can't eat sweets, but I'm sure either one of my kids would give it the old college try.

Father Nature's Corner

Anonymous said...

What are you doing to me? Are you trying to make me want to eat dogs? Bagels and croissants. I loves those things! Now I'm going to see a dog and get hungry.
This is the worst kind of Pavlovian conditioning. The kind that makes me eat things that I didn't think were food.

Lynn said...

That's so funny that they did that with the Jelly Bellies! It reminds me of that baby shower game in which you have to taste baby food and guess what it is. (Gag.) Poor babies.

Granny Annie said...

The dog pictures were as cute and clever as could be. Just don't ever trick me with those jelly beans. I too would have had to leave the room retching. Spark, you truly shock me.

Abby said...

Those dog pics - ha!
I already know I wouldn't last even 5 minutes with those beans. Just reading the flavors had me grossed out. My youngest son got into a game with them. He won $25 for lasting the longest! Didn't get that talent from me.

Snowbrush said...

Cute photos.

I should think most anyone would try lime or buttered popcorn.

lotta joy said...

Jelly beans and doggies. What's not to like?

Jenski said...

I think lawn clippings would be the only one I would risk. I don't even like the original buttered popcorn beans, so that would be a lose-lose situation!