Sunday, January 11, 2009

I should've had a tuna sandwich

The Domino Effect; A Case Study

First domino:  
Lunchtime, Friday.  I decide to get a cabbage roll.

Second domino: 
On the walk back to the office, I don't pay close attention to how I'm holding the styrofoam clamshell.  It's very full of sauce.  I manage to tip it enough to pour sauce all down the front of my winter coat.  Gah! :-p

Third domino:
When I get home, I read the washing instructions for my coat.  It says "machine wash in a front-loading washer".  Well, I have a top-loading washer, but I washed my last down parka in there without any trouble...

Fourth domino:
It's a big coat, so I leave the washer setting on "large load".

Fifth domino:
The coat floats on top of the water instead of sinking in.  That, combined with a full tub of water, overloads the machine.  Instead of starting the spin cycle, it makes a horrible whining noise and pours water all over the floor.

Sixth domino:
I don't live in a house.  I don't have a laundry room.  My washer and dryer are in a little closet just off my dining room.  The dining room and actually the whole condo is floored in wooden laminate.  Very lovely wooden laminate, which I have always enjoyed.

Seventh domino:
Water pours to the edge of the floor and under the floorboards.  The only other thing under there is a foam pad and a flat concrete surface.  No drain.

Eighth domino:
We throw every towel in the house onto the floor but it's too late.  Ken pries up several of the laminate strips, and the area underneath is awash.  

Ninth domino:
Overnight, water seeps throughout the floor by the washer, and the top layer of the laminate bubbles up at the seams.

So, let us review.  Because I chose to have a cabbage roll for lunch instead of, say, the falafel dinner special, my beautiful floor is now ruined.  How's that for the butterfly effect?
Double :-ppppppp

On the bright side:
  • I washed my coat in the bathtub.   It's clean and doing its coat thing just fine now.
  • We're in the middle of a cold snap, so our furnace is running overtime and consequently drying out the house.  The damage could have been worse.
  • We have some extra flooring left behind by the people who sold us the condo.  Ken can probably fill in the missing boards and some of the damaged spots.  In fact, it's possible that Ikea might still sell this exact same flooring.  It's only 4 years old.
  • The worst of the bubbling is in an area that's usually hidden under an area rug.
  • We already had plans to visit a friend on Saturday who just happens to have a specialized tool to lay laminate flooring.  He loaned it to us.  Saved: $25.
  • The washing machine suffered no lasting damage.
  • The stupid cabbage roll didn't give me food poisoning (although it wouldn't have surprised me).  
All in all it could've been worse.  I still resent the damage to my pretty floor.


Warped Mind of Ron said...

That would have made me so angry I most likely would have set the entire condo ablaze and stood outside laughing with a maniacal gleam in my eyes while holding my precious coat. I can overreact sometimes, have I ever mentioned that?

Karen said...

I spilled a shot of Jager on my WHITE coat on Friday night. The very first time I wore the coat. The man at the cleaners was not hopeful.

My floor are fine, but my coat is shot.

unsigned said...

Blame Poland. They invented the cabbage roll.

NicoleB said...

There's always a bright side to things, no?

Aurora said...

Oh no!! I hear your fury. We have wood floors and we have nightmares about them being destroyed by water leaking.

That cabbage roll has a lot to explain!

And next time I guess a laundromat is a small price to pay for peace of mind knowing your down coat is safe.

... sorry I haven't been reading and commenting recently! hugs


whatigotsofar said...

Nothing bad can happen from eating fried chicken, other than long term damage to your health system, but at least your floors will remain in near mint condition.

Keera Ann Fox said...

Thank you for letting me know to respect the instructions if a washing tag specifies what type of washing machine to use. Cuz I didn't know that mattered.

I really hope you save your floor and avoid mildew!

LL Cool Joe said...

Yep that story sounds typical of my whole life. One damn disaster after another!

I've never eaten a cabbage roll, but I have to say it sounds erm....yuck!!

I'm glad the floor is ok. :)

jameil1922 said...

I'd resent that, too!!! Glad you're seeing upsides. That always helps.

Duck said...

It's like that saying, when a butterfly flaps its wings in the arctic, it creates wind felt in Cleveland.

Or something like that.

And insert Cabbage Roll instead.

Warped Mind of Ron said...

Hope you feel better soon.

Sparkling Red said...

Ron: Er... wow. Suddenly I'm really glad that you live a long way away from me! ;-)

Karen: That bites. Those first-wear spills are the worst.

Unsigned: Did they? No wonder I like cabbage rolls. I'm 1/4 Polish.

Nicole: Yes, although it's sometimes hard to re-focus enough to see it!

Aurora: Thanks! I've wondered what happened with your blog. Anyway, I'm feeling very protective of the remainder of my floor. Redoing the floors would be incredibly disruptive. I want to avoid that if I can!

Whatigotsofar: At this point I'd rather clog my arteries than risk the rest of my floor.

Keera: Ken popped some spare pieces into place yesterday to fill the holes. They're not a perfect fit - I think they warped slightly in storage - but we threw an area rug over the uneven bits and it's good enough.

LL Cool Joe: You should give cabbage rolls a chance sometime. They're a lot better than you're imagining. :-)

Jameil: I have to look at the upsides. That's what keeps me sane.

Duck: I just had an image of cabbage rolls with cabbage-leaf wings flying over a meadow of wildflowers...

Ron: Thanks! :-)

Kate said...

Oh! Oh! Oh! That's awful. I certainly would have cried. Because that's how I am. Even an overflowing toilet will send me over the edge! Way to save the day!

Sparkling Red said...

Kate: Yeah, I had some frustrated tears before it was all over. My home is such an important safe place for me that any threat to it gets me upset. Happily, it didn't take long to get it back to normal.

floreta said...

this was a cute way of describing a very unfortunate series of events. hope it doesn't cost too much!

Dianne said...

damn cabbage roll! couldn't it behave itself and just give you gas

you really did have a day like mine!! I thought you were just being kind

Scarlet said...

Wow! No more healthy food for you! ;)

Sparkling Red said...

Floreta: My husband patched up the worst of it. All it cost us was a lot of aggravation, so far. (Although if we ever want to sell our place we'll have to re-do those floors eventually.)

Dianne: Yup, it was a terrible, horrible, no-good, very-bad day. No exaggeration! ;-)

Scarlet: Yeah, I would have been better off with a burger and fries.

Jenski said...

Are you ever going to have a cabbage roll again?