Tuesday, January 12, 2010


I met a dog called Taco. He's an odd breed that has just a few wiry hairs here and there. The rest of him is skin. Patting his head was like patting an old man's cheek. Even though he was a very nice dog, it was kind of creepy.


I was feeling cold at home, so I was all bundled up in three layers of sweaters and wearing my puffiest slippers. Ken was at the computer eating blueberry Eggo toaster pancakes. When I shuffled up to him and put my icy fingers on his bare arm to warm them up, he generously took his freshly toasted blueberry pancake and pressed it to my cheek, so that I might absorb the heat from it. It's small, thoughtful gestures like this that confirm his love for me every day.


Ken and I were having dinner out. We ordered a plate of french fries to share. At our favourite restaurant, the fry size varies from order to order. Usually we get long fries. But the time before last we got fry gravel. This time was somewhere in between. The average fry length was about 1". Ken deemed them to be "cigarette butt fries". In my mind's eye, the plate between us transformed itself into an overflowing ashtray. I don't know what it says about me that I was able to imagine the french fries as cigarette butts, and continue eating them. With ketchup.


Anonymous said...

"he generously took his freshly toasted blueberry pancake and pressed it to my cheek"

That's so kinky, I don't even know what it means.

Warped Mind of Ron said...

Mmmmm.... cigarette fries.... Can I get them with extra carcinogens???

Jenski, PhD said...

Hmmm...did Ken offer to wipe your cheek off? Somehow I ended up being the warm one the other day and CF paid me back for all those cold hands on his neck by doing it to me.

Anonymous said...

What says love more than blueberry pancakes on the cheeks? What, I asks ya?

... Or did you mean your FACIAL cheek? 'Cause that's less fun.


SoMi's Nilsa said...

Are you trying to tell me I need to reassess my own marriage given when my hands are cold and I try to put them in my husband's arm pits for warmth, he usually does some kind of fantastical dance to get me to move away from him (or maybe he's just reacting to the iciness of my digits)! ha.

LL Cool Joe said...

Is the first suggestive post you've ever written?

Can't say I've ever had a pancake pressed into my cheek, but now you've mentioned it, it's not a totally unappealing thought!

Did it have syrup on it?

Ok, I'm shuting up now......

DarcsFalcon said...

LOL Those are funny! The creepy old dog, the blueberry cheeks - and that one could get really kinky - and the frygarettes - awesome!

I read about the pancakes and had a vision of something like Princess Leia's doughnut-do. :)

Ily said...

I love that he warmed you with his pancake. Awwww.

I've never seen a dog like the one you described up close (don't want to!), and those hairless cats really scare me. I prefer fur! :)

Sparkling Red said...

WIGSF: Would it have been kinkier if it were a waffle?

Ron: The menthol ones don't go well with ketchup.

Jenski: Those toaster pancakes aren't messy. They're more like a little foam pad than a traditional pancake. If anything, my cheek might have dirtied his pancake.

darcknyt: I'll just let you all keep thinking that my husband slapped a pancake on my butt, because obviously the truth would be disappointing.

Nilsa: You go for his armpits? That's hardcore. I'd say if he doesn't try to punch you out after one of those attempts, that means he loves you. ;-)

LL Cool Joe: Obviously you never read my post about the Cummer Bus. And yes, there is a real Cummer Bus, that runs along Cummer Ave. in my neighbourhood.

DarcsFalcon: I'm not sure about pancakes as hair accessories, but they might work as shoulder pads. :-)

Ily: Yes, I also prefer my animal friends to be furry. Pigs get an exception to the rule because they're traditionally bald. All other animals should keep their fur on, in my opinion.

Karen said...

I hope there was not butter or maple syrup on that Eggo.

NicoleB said...

That dog sounds a tad creepy indeed,....

And poor you. Want about 5 celsius from us and some sun?

Cigarette butts?
But I would have kept eating them too ;)

powdergirl said...

Whenever I run out of cigs, I just et the butts, never thought to use ketchup.

Hah, I even have my sons trained to let me stick my hands up the backs of their shirts to warm up. Thats love : ) But the pancake? Hmmm... thats cupboard love, even better.

Yeah, I've seen hairless cats, all very nice, but man, there's a look!

savia said...

The breed of dog is called Chinese Crested - they were voted the ugliest dog in the world. But they're kind of cute, don't you think? My dog's the same breed, though she's a Powderpuff, which means she's a fluffy, hairy dog.

The friend of mine who was breeding them actually had a hairless one named Taco, too. Hmmmm.

Sparkling Red said...

Karen: There was not. Ken enjoys his pancakes dry.

Nicole: Yes! Please send that 5 degrees by ultra-express-courier!

Powdergirl: How about gravy?

Savia: Does your friend live in Toronto? It may be one and the same dog.