When I was 6

When I was six I started first grade in a French Immersion program.  My teacher was a young, pretty Parisian called Mademoiselle R.  I am told that my step-dad was unaccountably interested in attending parent-teacher meetings that particular year.

Mlle. R. decided that my class would put on a theatrical production: a musical adaptation of Little Red Riding Hood, a.k.a. "Le Petit Chaperon Rouge".  I had my eye on the leading role, but there was one other girl who also wanted to be a star. 

I recall scheming, even at that young age, to tip the situation in my favour. When Mlle. asked who wanted to audition first, the other girl's hand shot up.  I didn't raise mine.  I knew that if she went first the teacher would give her feedback, and I could listen in and apply that feedback to my own audition.  It worked out exactly according to my devious plan, and I got the part.

The soundtrack for the play was to be a children's album by Nana Mouskouri.  The songs that I can remember were called "Le Tournesol" (The Sunflower)  and, randomly, "J'ai un Haricot Dans L'oreille" (I Have a Bean In My Ear).  Would you believe that YouTube has totally failed to provide me with any sample of these songs?  That is indeed a pity.

The wolf was played by a little boy called Drew.  His parents went to the trouble of creating a helmet-style wolf's-head mask out of paper mache, but he couldn't see out of the eyeholes.  For the sake of health and safety considerations, the wolf carried his head around under his arm for the entire play.  Even at the tender age of six I thought it looked stupid.

There was one scene in the play during which Little Red is wandering through the forest, admiring the natural beauty of her surroundings.  She comes across some flowers, and smells each one in turn.  Three of the flowers smell great.  She appreciates them.  The fourth one, the orange flower, smells bad.  She turns to the audience a delivers the comedic line "Que ca pu!" (What a stink!).  Here the audience was supposed to laugh, but I don't remember if they did.  It occurs to me only now that many of the parents in the audience probably didn't speak French, so they wouldn't have known what the hell was going on.

Of course no one wanted to play the part of the orange flower.  When Mlle. was trying to fairly determine who would get stuck with that part, one of the girls, fed up with all the fussing, said "Fine, I'll do it."  She was a sensible girl without a big ego, even as a child.  We became best friends in the fourth grade when we were seated next to each other, and I'm still in touch with her.  The stinky flower is now married to a doctor, has three children, and is still counted among my best friends, although I only see her around twice a year because she lives so far away.

And so I had my 15 minutes of fame as Little Red Riding Hood.  At least, that was it until I played Mary Poppins at camp when I was 11 (complete with all the singing solos).  But that is another story for another time.