Saturday, November 8, 2014

Royal Winter Fair

The Royal Winter Fair crippled me.  Seriously, I can barely walk.  I think I pulled a hip flexor running for the streetcar on the way there.

This would not have happened if the Fair had not printed incorrect transit instructions right onto my ticket.

The ticket offered several routes to the fairgrounds on public transit.  Normally I would have taken the Bathurst streetcar, but the ticket said I could catch a 509 shuttle bus from Union station, and I thought that would be faster.

I exited Union station, and waited around for a little while for the bus, but there was a lot of construction on the road, and I had a feeling that this was not the place for a bus stop.  Sure enough, after a little searching, I found a well-hidden bus-stop post that was marked with an out-of-service sign.  Scrawled onto the sign was a barely legible message about an in-service bus stop a few blocks south at Front Street.

I walked down to the Front Street bus stop.  I saw a few #6 buses going past in the wrong direction, but no #509s.  When a #6 bus pulled up, I asked if the 509 would be along soon.  "Oh no, ma'am.  The 509 shuttle bus was temporary while track construction was being completed.  It's no longer in service.  Go around the corner to the streetcar stop to get the 509 streetcar."

Right.  Fine.  Off I went around the corner.  Pretty soon a streetcar pulled up.  I have to admit that I did not look at the route sign on it because 1) it didn't occur to me that other streetcars might stop there, and 2) it was my first sighting of a brand-new, low-floor, all-the-fancy-bells-and-whistles streetcar that has just been introduced to the city.

It was a very nice, smooth ride.  I got as far as Spadina, and at that point we turned north.  It was a 510.  No no no!  Dammit.  Got off the streetcar.  Walked back to Front Street.  Walked west about half a mile looking for a streetcar stop.  Finally saw a 509 - passing me at speed, just as the stop loomed into sight.  I waved to the driver and ran for it.  I caught the streetcar.  I made it to the fair.  I ignored the steadily increasing pain in my right hip for hours because after all that I was going to enjoy the fair even if it killed me.  Getting home was not so good.  I am now effectively crippled.  But.

It was worth it!

Disapproving hen disapproves.

This six-month-old cow was totally into licking my coat sleeve.  It couldn't be all that tasty... or is there something I've been missing?  *Licks coat sleeve*  Nope, that cow was just crazy.

Jade the goat (above) was a snuggle-muffin.  All she wanted to do was hang out and get scratchy-scratches and neck rubs.  I could have spent all evening with her.  I only left because her owners showed up and wanted to take some of the goats out for a shower and shampoo.

"I am a hungry goat.  I will stick my head all the way inside this delicious bag."

Pig bums are silly.

There were auctions happening.  The one in the main arena was for cattle, but there was a smaller one for pigs.

The Fair was selling alcoholic beverages at its refreshment stands.  I had to wonder if any city people ever show up, get drunk, and buy a pig for their tiny condo.  That would be interesting.

The Horse Palace was very dark, so I didn't get a lot of great photos there.

"I haz fancy sox."

I found a few sociable horses who wanted to hang out with me.  Of course the best part is their velvety noses, but there was one pretty pony who was into getting a full rubdown.  She was all "Yeah, yeah, a little to the right.  No, lower.  Yeah.  There.  Okay, now the other side."  (Pause for more rubbing and scritchy-scratching.)  "Okay, now the other other side."

Sheep strikes a pose.

This little cow (still relatively a baby) had a fancy halter with bling on it.

The Beef Team.  "Does this straw make my butt look big?"

I also met a cow called "Destiny Overload So Fancy".  Wow.  So Name.  Very Emphasis.  I am now considering changing my own name to something equally glamorous.  How about "Sparkling Crimson Fancy-Pants So Classy"?


LL Cool Joe said...

I think that's a great new name and suits you perfectly.

Actually, I don't know if this sounds a bit kinky but that pig bum is kinda cute. :D

Sparkling Red said...

LL Cool Joe: Ahahahaha! :-) I'm sure there are people out there who would be willing to swap their bum for a nice, firm, young, pink one. I wonder if they'd take it if it came with the curly pigtail?

DarcKnyt said...

That's a GREAT name for you, Spark! I say run with it. ;)

As for the beef team, "No, your huge BUTT is making your butt look big."

I like disapproving hen best. Chickens are funny. :)

I'm sorry about your hip, though. I'll say a prayer for your speedy and inconsequential recovery.

Hopefully the next time you visit a fair the biggest adventure won't be just getting there.

G. B. Miller said...

Sensational new name and the things that we do to get a little R&R in can sometimes boggle the mind*. :D

*been there numerous times and did that numerous times, all in the name of R&R.

Father Nature's Corner

Warped Mind of Ron said...

Well now Mrs Fancy-Pants... looks like a lot of fun. I curious about the pigs owner. I mean who needs to put a #2 on a pig's butt?? I mean he's got to remember what side of a pig does what, right??? Does he have a tattoo on his head that says, "feed"???

Granny Annie said...

It was killing me just to read about all the walking you had to do to catch a ride. Now my hip is hurting.

My first husband would have gotten drunk at the fair and brought home a pig, no doubt about it. LOL

Of course you could have bought a horse to ride back home:)

Sparkling Red said...

DarcKnyt: The cows were impressively huge. The hen was unbelievably photogenic.

G.B.: No regrets! YOLO, baby!

Ron: LOL Maybe that was just a training pig, for new farmers who can't tell one end from the other yet.

Granny Annie: I was tempted to bring home a horse. There was one who would have been willing to come with me. I explained to her that she could stand in the "stall" that currently contains my twin-sized guest bed. I would be willing to make my human guests sleep on the couch.

Ginny said...

When I went to the big E in Massachusetts I took so many photos of the animals. I think I want them all as pets. Sadly I don't know how to take care of them nor do I have the room.

Lynn said...

That's a great name! Love the pic of the cows lined up companionably.

Hope your hip feels better!

Vanessa T said...

Love the name! LOL Crimson, it suits you! :D

I hope your hip is totally healed by now. It's clear that Disapproving Chicken disapproved of you being in pain.

Great shots, Spark! As always, you have a good eye for photography.