Sunday, March 29, 2015

My Feet Hurt and Toilet Update

Because it's important to write post titles that sound ever so inviting.

Good news!  The plumber I consulted about the toilet problems at my work assured me that no one's life is in danger.  The toilets are not going to go off like grenades, driving chunks of porcelain into some unlucky person's frontal lobe.  Although there is a dramatic noise when the bowl cracks, there's not enough pressure to cause a bona fide explosion.  Any bits and chunks that detach from the bowl will simply fall to the floor.  Phew!  That's a relief.

My feet hurt because Ken and I walked halfway to tarnation and back again today.  We have reached that phase of it's-not-yet-spring-but-we're-all-dying-of-cabin-fever-let's-go-out-ANYWHERE-WILL-DO so we ended up visiting two different conference-centre shows back to back.  Neither one blew our socks off, but it was better than bumming around the house.

The Green Living Show sticks to an eco-friendly theme.  I thought it was pretty neat that Samsung sponsored free admission for anyone who dropped off e-waste at their booth.  Exhibitors fell into a few basic categories:

  • Educational: This is how you recycle your old car tires.  Use less toilet paper.  Teach your kids about wood.
  • Selling Things:  Water filters.  Essential oils body butter. Other water filters.  Sprouting kits. YOU CALL THAT A WATER FILTER?  THIS IS A WATER FILTER.  Tie-dye yoga pants.  Water filters.
  • Selling Food:  Organic coffee.  Organic milk.  Organic chocolate.  Organic chocolate milk.  Organic milk chocolate.  Green sludge in a cup, and variants thereof.
It was busy, and felt busier because the show space was set up with unreasonably narrow aisles.  There wasn't much of anything there that I haven't seen lots of times before.  It was okay, though.  At least we got in for free.

The Artsy-Craftsy Show was more promising and therefore more of a disappointment.  I have been there once or twice before.  It seems like such a good idea, in theory.  One of a Kind!  Who can resist the chance to support local artisans while searching for unique treasures?  Unfortunately, it's gotten a bit predictable.  Truly unique designs are thin on the ground.  Things there are a lot of include:
  • Artisanal jams.
  • Hunks of homemade soap that look like they were chopped with an axe.
  • Whimsical infinity scarves.
  • Ornaments made of fused glass.
Can you picture it?  Ken summed it up as "stuff white people like", which is pretty accurate in terms of both the vendors and the customers.  There was a smattering of brown people, and quite a lot of French being spoken by artisans from Quebec and northern Ontario, but that's the extent of the diversity.

We didn't buy anything at the Artsy-Craftsy show.  But we did get out of the house!  We got fresh air and exercise!  We got a little sun on our pasty hides!  (At least the face parts.)

We did pick up a box of 12 fair trade, organic, gluten-free, beef-free, non-radioactive chocolate bars at the Green show, for half price.  Yum yum.  (I'm not sharing.  Get your own.)


LL Cool Joe said...

I'm so relived to hear about the loos. I've been having sleepless nights worrying about yours and other people's bums getting cut to shreds by the exploding toilets.

I'm glad you got out, and got some fresh air, always a good feeling. Although staying in and slobing out feels good too! :D

Sparkling Red said...

Joey: I am a huge fan of slobbing out. :-)

Warped Mind of Ron said...

I, personally, am a fan of the chocolate with beef and just a tad of radiation, but I'm an American, that's how we roll.

Sparkling Red said...

Ron: You 'Mericans think you're so tough, with your beefy chocolate and your random genetic mutations which give you superpowers!

PhilipH said...

Hello there, Sparkling Red. I like the name but wonder if you are a carbonated communist which might possibly explain unexplained explosive tendencies of your loo. Alternatively, Sparkling Red could be your favourite tipple OR, most likely, your name is Ruby.

Any old way, your writing is much to my liking and I intend to keep an eye on you, via Blogger of course. I do not intend to spy on you as a CIA agent is probably doing right now, or not, as the case might be.

Granny Annie said...

I am so behind on my blog comments so I am just now laughing hysterically as I go back and catch up. Loved the bomb suits!! Meanwhile my neighbor's who have a very large free loading son, told me that this fat boy who won't leave home fell through their floor this week while sitting on their toilet. They have replaced the toilet but not the adult son who needs to find his own home.

Even while speaking of toilets, I still would want your chocolate bar. You know the art of selection.

DarcKnyt said...

Sorry, Spark, I'm with Ron. I want my radioactive cow chocolate, and maybe if YOU had radioactive beefy chocolate your feet wouldn't hurt. ;)

Sounds like fun. I sort of miss being able to go to those sorts of shows. They're sort of ridiculously far from me now, for the most part.

Ginny said...

Ugh yes I have cabin fever so bad. Spring is so close so close! Glad the toilets will not kill anyone.

Vanessa T said...

Whew! Non-lethal potties! That's a relief! I don't know how old your building is, but perhaps the installer put in older toilets or something. Hopefully, that's the last of the temperamental toilets.

I'm sorry your feet hurt! But, I'm glad you got out of the house for a bit. You're a girl who likes that sort of thing. :)

I know what you mean about soap cut with an axe. As a soon-to-be soaper, I've watched a lot of videos and read a lot of books, and people do make soap in huge loaves and then cut them with something akin to a tiny axe. A tiny pizza cutter at the very least. Some use a big wire cutter thing that looks like a harp but those are big bucks so few use them.

I had to laugh at your husband's comment. I had a black friend who went nuts over my homemade balms and wanted to buy the soap my friend made, so there you go. :) Once you've gone homemade, it's hard to go back to store-bought. :D


G. B. Miller said...

Glad to hear that you were able to complete your toiletries successfully.

I'm sorely tempted to go one of those artsy-craftsy fairs, but ya know, sometimes local isn't what its all cracked up to be.

Lynn said...

I love a long walk - sorry your feet hurt, but I imagine it was a lovely walk.

Lynn said...
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