May I presume that we all survived Christmas? There were no casualties as a results of over-eating, over-drinking, or over-exposure to Michael Bublé?
Excellent. Well done, everybody. I hope that your Christmas week fell somewhere in the range between fantastic and bearable, as close to fantastic as possible. My week was good - generously filled with all the essentials of the season: friends, family, and food. All my plans have gone well, and my gifts have been well-received.
The only thing that is not 100% is my Bubbe. The so-called indomitable lady is not doing well. Congestive heart failure has sapped her energy and landed her in hospital, as of last week. Also, we (the family and her doctors) are not quite sure why, but she's gone a little loco in the coconut, just recently. It could be the medications she's on; it could be oxygen deprivation; it could be her age finally catching up with her (99 and a half years is a long time to hang on to all of one's marbles); it could be the stress of being stuck in the hospital; or most likely it's all of the above. Anyway, she has better days and worse days, but when I visited her on a worse day she said some pretty kooky stuff.
For example, she thought that the clock in her room was literally controlling her physical movements, and that she had to match the positioning of her hands to angle of the hands on the clock, or "they would apply a little discomfort. Not pain, but just enough discomfort to make you have to move your hands." So... hmm. That's pretty weird.
She has been telling all of her family members for years that she does NOT want to be dependent. She does NOT want to become a vegetable in a wheelchair. She wants a nice, clean death, the kind where you put yourself to bed one night in your own home and then just peacefully slip away in your sleep. Sure, who doesn't want that? No one wants to be a shadow of one's former self, stuck in a hospital, connected to various tubes and machines, becoming paranoid and delusional and helpless to halt the process.
So, you know, it's difficult to watch. We all knew that we'd have to lose her someday, but that doesn't make it any easier It's anyone's guess how much longer she'll live, and at this point we're not necessarily hoping for a lot longer. She's in God's hands now, as she always was, of course, although she would never see it that way.
Despite feeling a bit uncelebrational on account of Bubbe's situation, I have done my best to drown my sorrows in roast beef with mashed potatoes, chocolate cake and pecan pie. We celebrated December birthdays and watched the movie Elf. So there it is. Christmas was successfully accomplished. Next: New Year's Eve. Best wishes to everyone for 2016! xo