Crazy Neighbour 2

It all started innocently enough, on Mother's Day.

I had been getting to know Nina, our next-door apartment neighbour who was around my own age. I found out that she'd given birth to her son when she was 19, and had raised him alone in difficult circumstances. Although she'd done her very best to do right by him, had sacrificed her own hopes and dreams to provide for him, he was going through an adolescent rebellious phase. A short time ago, he said a lot of very unkind things to her, and moved in with his dad.

Distraught and bereft, Nina moved to Toronto from her smallish hometown, to try to make a life for herself without her son. She didn't know anyone here, and Toronto is a notoriously unfriendly city. People err on the side of polite silence, and avoiding eye contact. She was not used to living alone in her new apartment. And then it was Mother's Day. Her son probably wouldn't call. She was feeling like crap.

Ken often brought me flowers back then, because he's awesome like that, and because there was a cute little flower shop on his walk home from work. Nina sometimes ran into him in the hall as he unlocked our door, and admired the bouquets. He thought it would be a nice gesture to bring Nina some flowers on Mother's Day. And so he did.

We'd each been over to each others' place a few times before, so it didn't seem odd to him when she invited him over for tea a few days later. But something in the way she curled up on the couch this time... the vibe was different. She was coquettish. Eyelashes were batted. Leading questions were tabled.

I got home around twenty minutes after Ken had accepted the invitation to tea. As I was still shrugging off my jacket, I heard a door open and close outside, and then our own door opened and Ken rushed in, like something was chasing him. He looked a little wild-eyed.

Ken: You're never going to believe what Nina just said to me.

Me: What? What did she say?

Ken: She said that all her friends said that the flowers meant...

Me: What?

Ken: She thought we were trying to get her to have a three-way!

Me: [loud enough to be heard through our common wall]
WHAT ?!!!!!

Ken: Yeah, she wants to have sex with both of us.

Me: *stunned silence*

Ken: Well, what do you think?

Me: Uh, it's flattering, I guess.

Ken: Would you do it?

So we considered the option, or at least we pretended to give it serious consideration. I felt a responsibility to at least hypothesize about whether or not it was a good idea. Lots of people would feel like they won the lottery with that offer. She was a fairly attractive woman. I didn't want to regret it later in life, kicking myself for being too conservative.

But in the end, we just weren't into it. Even Ken, who ostensibly had nothing to lose, realized that the reality of a three-way could get really awkward, and then being next-door neighbours could become unbearable. And although I can appreciate the beauty of women, I'm pretty firmly in the straight camp. I didn't have any desire to experience Nina without her clothes on.

Things were never quite the same living next to Nina, after that day. I think we were all relieved when Ken and I moved out. Last time I ran into her, she said she was still living there, and that a couple of loud Russian women had moved into our old apartment. She said they argued and shouted day and night. She said that she misses us. I guess she won't be offering the Russians a three-way.