Saturday, August 27, 2016

Jalopy Jam-Up

Last weekend, Ken drove us more than two hours north of Toronto so that we could go to Jalopy Jam-Up, a classic car event out in the middle of nowhere.  The venue is a fake frontier ghost town, but it has been so poorly maintained that you could almost mistake it for a real one, it's so dusty and tumble-down.

We heard about the event through friends of a friend, who know the organizers.

This car wins the prize for flashiest paint job.  Click on the photo to see the large version, so you can get a good look at the nude lady on the hub cap!

Every knob inside was replaced with a decorative die.

Old vehicles are much more bulbous than the ones made today.

I heard that Wells Fargo had been hit hard in the recession, but I didn't know it had come to this...

I thought we'd come a long way to be there, having driven from Toronto.  Apparently not.  Here's an Ohio license plate.  People brought their "jalopies" from all over.

Exhaust pipes, or hungry baby birds?

There were a lot of flame paint jobs.

I like this blue car for its understated cool.

That's a Mr. Horsepower sticker near the front wheel of the yellow car, below.  Ken got one for my mom's car, and she loved it so much that when she got a new car, she asked him to get her another Mr. Horsepower sticker.  He drove over to the house one day when she wasn't home, walked up to her car which was parked in the driveway, stuck the sticker on, and left.  He said the neighbours must have been wondering who the heck he was and what he was doing to the nice older lady's car.

So pink!  The roof is done with a sparkly flake paint, and the rest of the body is matte.  I like the hubcaps too.

No one does good tail fins anymore.

Some cars that weren't up to the drive got a lift to the venue.

Classic black.

We stayed for four hours, and it was a pretty good time.  We brought folding chairs and sat outside under trees, which we never get around to doing in the city.  There wasn't a heck of a lot to do there other than talk cars and listen to music, so I'm not sure how everyone was passing the time since a lot of people were camping there or staying at nearby hotels for the whole weekend.  From the looks of it, the main source of entertainment was drinking beer.

We heard that there was a drunken scuffle the night before we arrived, when a guy who had been into the silly soda found his wife, who was likewise sozzled, in a tent fooling around with another man.  The loud arguing and fighting that followed kept the whole camp up for most of the night.  Ken and I aren't fans of camping even under the best circumstances, so I'm glad that we weren't there. I'm also really not a big fan of porta-potties and no running water.  Thank God for hand sanitizer.

So, which if the cars is your favourite?  (The blue car is my favourite, followed by the yellow convertible.)

Sunday, August 21, 2016

Canadian National Exhibition Time

Ken and I took Friday off work to go to the CNE annual fair.  We couldn't have picked a more beautiful day.

We could, however, have picked a cooler day.  It was another scorcher, so we spent at least as much time inside as out.  Fortunately, the CNE has plenty of indoor exhibits.

In the horticulture display, I found a moss moose.  Someone clearly enjoys wordplay as much as I do.

In the shopping area, I was a bit taken aback by this piggy bank, which requires you to insert your coins into its butt.  It's huge, too!  That's a folding chair behind it.

I did approve of this pillow, featuring three enigmatic cat people protecting a slice of watermelon.  At least, that's my best guess as to what's happening here.

We ventured outside to watch an XTREME POGO!!!!!  demonstration.  The stunt team jumped seven feet off the ground and turned somersaults on their pogo sticks.  We bailed after about 5 minutes because it was too damn hot.  I felt sorry for the pogoers in their all-black uniforms.  

Corndogs, available in small, large, and OMG, are you kidding me, does anyone actually want a two-foot long corndog?

One-man-band guy was singing, playing the drum set on his back, plus the guitar on his front, and had a harmonica at the ready.  Although he wasn't quite a solo act this year; the fellow behind him was playing what was more or less a xylophone made of PVC pipes. They were playing The Weight (the "Take a load off, Annie" song), and doing a great job of it.

Kids' area, with scaled down rides.  You can see the CN Tower in the background.

This sculpture/decommissioned fountain was a Pokestop.  I bet the kids appreciated that.

Fountain still in commission.

Cow that looks like a delicious, lightly toasted marshmallow.

One-week old calf.  Awwww! :-)

Turkey, obviously.  Get a load of that neck!  Sheesh!  Somebody get him a bandana please.

It was a great day.  We walked until our feet were sore, picked up a couple of souvenirs, ate treats, and generally tired ourselves out completely in the best way possible.  Hurray for the CNE!

Sunday, August 14, 2016


So.  It's hot.  It's hot today, it was hot yesterday, and the many days before that, and it's going to be hot  again tomorrow.  Okay, this is summer; I suppose it's to be expected.  But I am all out of patience for walking home from work in 35 degree weather (that's 95 of your American Farenheits) at maximum humidity.

I cope by bringing an entire change of clothes for the office environment, which is effective but also a hassle.  I've also started bringing an ice pack to hold against the back of my neck, or the insides of my elbows, while waiting for the bus.

At least my hair is finally long enough to pull back into a ponytail.  #SmallMercies

Maybe it's the heat sapping our tempers, but Ken and I have been quibbling about politics.  It's a bit stupid, considering that we're Canadian, to argue about the American election, but we do.  Ken prefers Trump to Clinton, because a) Trump is more entertaining and b) actually I think that might be the only reason.  I prefer Clinton, even though she demonstrably lied during the email fiasco, because at least she has experience and takes her campaign seriously.

I'm not much of a hater, but I hate The Donald.  Loathe him.  It was all fine and dandy when he was shooting off his mouth on The Apprentice, which I watched and enjoyed.  It's another thing entirely for him to be playing up xenophobia and generally being an ass to people from a position of potential real power.  He doesn't seem to care at all about anything except his own ego.  I believe that he's a sociopath.  Not a quality one should be looking for in a world leader.

I've almost completely ignored the Olympics, except for a few minutes of gymnastics.  The athletes were amazing and very chalky.

That's about it for this week.  How broiling hot is it where you are right now, and how are you coping?

Sunday, August 7, 2016

Loco in the Coconut

Ken and I went to a Tiki-themed event at a downtown bar last night. Picture this style of decor

but much more colourful and crowded, and the torches were "lit" with yellow and orange tissue paper rather than actual fire.  #SafetyFirst.  

There was a live band and a dance floor; a raffle; and a contest for the loudest shirt and best luau dress. Hawaiian-print-clad people sipped drinks decorated with slices of pineapple and paper umbrellas.  However, I was most interested in the scheduled burlesque act.  I have never seen one before.

Long before the dancer was scheduled to appear, half of a 3-foot-wide coconut shell was set on a stand and partially filled with sudsy water.  Intriguing.  An appropriately-scaled foam slice of lime was wedged onto the edge of the shell.

As the last of the day's light faded from the sky, a gorgeous, statuesque blond woman wearing a gold sequinned outfit strutted onto the stage.  The band launched into an appropriate musical number, and it wasn't long before pieces of the lady's costume were being gracefully tossed into the laps of men seated near the stage.

When she was down to a gold thong and sequinned pasties, she kicked off her shoes and climbed into the coconut, where she spun around on her butt, and kicked her feet in the air.  Then she grabbed the lime-slice sponge, ripped it in half, did some pretty provocative dripping-water-over-herself moves.  That was the grand finale.

I was amazed, a bit shocked, but definitely entertained.  It's not often that I see another woman's butt or bosom that bare, and never have I witnessed that much deliberate jiggling.  Since she had a bath in the process, I guess you could call it good, clean fun.

We caught a subway train home around 1 am.  Everyone was sleepy.  Here's a photo I took of a girl sleeping on the train next to a sketch of a man sleeping on the train.  Click on the photo see it in all of its whimsically juxtaposed glory.

So. Girl taking a bath in a giant coconut.  I can scratch that one off my bucket list.