Yup.

First of all, the water level in the Sea Monkeys tank was falling (as it always does, due to evaporation) so I added some more spring water (as I always do, as per the instructions that came with the tank) and all the peewees died.

So sad.  So disappointing.

Then I had an attack of gastritis.  It doesn't sound that bad, does it?  Like, just a fancy word for a tummy ache.  But oh, it is so much more.  It lasts for days.  I ran a fever.  My stomach blimped out like the Hindenburg and refused to digest anything without hours of drama.  The pain wrapped around into my back, and into my soul.  INTO MY SOUL, I TELL YOU.

The last time I had gastritis was when I was still taking NSAIDs (ibuprofen/Advil, Tylenol/acetaminophen, and their friends).  I recognize the distinct, nauseating symptoms.  This time I blame Palafer, my iron supplement.  It's a known major irritant to the g.i. tract.  I was tolerating it well for a couple of years, but recently it's been getting dicey.  The same way that the NSAIDs stopped agreeing with me, gradually.  I'd get some tummy trouble, stop the iron until I felt better, start the iron again, feel bad again after a few days, etc.  And then pow!

Gastritis can be serious.  You can actually get bleeding holes burned into the lining of your stomach.  Which would be ironic, considering that that would defeat the purpose of taking iron in the first place.  Hey, did you see that?  IRONIC!  Because Palafer is iron!  That must be how the term "irony" developed in the first place.

Peewees!

My Sea Monkey colony was doomed.  After all the eggs had hatched, there were two females and six males.  Over the next two months I found a new little corpse in the tank every couple of weeks until I had four left: all males.  That was it, then.  They were on palliative care until the last little shrimp gave up the ghost and floated to the bottom of the tank.  I was not looking forward to that sad day.

Of course I abandonned the idea of letting my co-worker adopt the tank.  You can't expect someone else to take over a doomed project voluntarily.  I made my peace with the cycle of life, and tried to take care of the little guys as best I could so that their last days would be happy.

When I found the males "hugging", I thought they'd gone gay out of desperation.  I suppose one or two of them could have been gay all along, although I'd never seen that behaviour when the girls were still around.  Good thing my house is LGBT positive.  They may as well have some fun.

Yesterday, after bubbling the tank (they need their daily dose of oxygen), I did a head count.  I've been checking every few days to measure the progress towards Total Extinction.  I noticed something unusual about one of the Sea Monkeys.  It looked as if he had sprouted ovaries overnight.  What the...?

Then, as I squinted into the tank, I noticed something even more amazing.  Peewees!  Lots of them!  Translucent little squiggles no bigger than a comma, motoring purposefully around the tank.  The previous two females were mated plenty, believe me, but there were never any babies.  No new Sea Monkeys had shown up since the initial packet of dried eggs was dissolved into the tank.  Now, it's a Sea Monkey Miracle!  The colony is saved!

I checked online and found two conflicting sources of information.  There are online references to a few scientific papers that seem to indicate that shrimps can be hermaphroditic.  Did my new momma start out as a boy?  The official Sea Monkeys website makes no mention of this possibility.  The Sea Monkeys fan website states that it's a fallacy - boys who turn into girls were girls all along; they were just late bloomers.

If she was a late bloomer, she was awfully late - a full two months behind her sisters.  In the Sea Monkey life span, that's like 7 human years.  But, I guess it's possible.

I'll never know exactly what happened, but I don't mind.  I'm just happy that my tank is filled with cute, healthy peewees.  I'm no longer tempted to give the colony away.  I guess I'm attached to them after all.

Monkey Love

My Sea Monkeys are mating. Right now? As I write this? As you read it? Yes, most likely. When Monkey romance begins, it lasts for days. The first "hug" I witnessed spanned both days of last weekend. Yesterday evening they were at it again.

I was under the impression that Sea Monkeys do not reach maturity for 6-8 weeks after hatching. My little monkeys were only two weeks old when they starting going all the way to home base. Sheesh. Way to grow up fast, guys!

Of course, it could be that they're just playing doctor rather than actually procreating. I'll keep an eye out for new babies. Only time will tell.

At this time, I have three adolescent Sea Monkeys (3/8 of an inch long) and five pee wees. The pee wees are too small to determine gender. Of the monkeys that are foolin' around, one is smaller, pale, and featureless. Two are larger and reddish in colour. Each of the larger ones has grown a pair of what appear to be poppy seeds, located between the legs and the tail. Who is male and who is female in this picture?

In the world of Sea Monkeys, ladies are bigger than gentlemen. Those poppy seeds that look like testicles are actually egg sacks. The male, who I refer to as Ghost because of his pallor and translucence, grabs the female just above the egg sacks using two feelers under his chin. Then he holds on for dear life until the ride is over.

For the duration of mating, the male rides under the female, swimming in perfect synchronization. He can't eat much unless some algae happens to float his way by chance. He can't get to the surface for extra oxygen. He's stuck following her around for as long as it takes.

On Monday morning, when the male finally unclinched from his lengthy embrace, I'd never seen a happier little monkey. He swam in ecstatic circles and zoomed around the tank at top speed. I could almost see him waving his little arms and shouting "I'm free! Free at last! FREEEEEE!"

Well, he was back in position again, as of yesterday, so wish the little guy luck, and stamina.

As for the ladies, they don't seem to care one way or another. I can't tell them apart, so I don't know if Ghost has a girlfriend or if he's playing the field. One day one of the girls was swimming around in a completely boring manner, while the other did flips, spins, and loop-de-loops. I named the boring one Outboard and the graceful one Baryshnikov. Trouble is, they swim exactly alike now, so I can't tell who's who. Oh well. Some mysteries of Sea Monkey life will be forever hidden from humans.

The Sea Monkey Project

How many of you are familiar with Sea Monkeys? When I was a kid, they were advertised on the back page of every Archie comic book. Oh bonus, I just found the ad! Check it out!

Sea Monkeys are a type of brine shrimp that can be grown in a small (12 oz.) plastic aquarium with minimal maintenance. The eggs can remain in suspended animation for years. The kit provides a pouch of eggs and "plasma" (a powder that prepares the water), a year's supply of food (they don't need much), and presto! Just add water, and you have instant "pets".

Some people may feel that a shrimp does not qualify as a pet any more than a "pet rock" or a "pet grape" or whatever. Well, ladies and gents, I will soon be able to offer my expert opinion. Welcome to my Sea Monkeys experiment, day 4.

As of this morning, there are at least three Sea Monkey babies wiggling madly in the little tank, each of them half the length of a comma. (The aquarium has built in magnifying bulges on one side, but I still get eyestrain if I watch them for too long.) They're supposed to grow to be 3/4" long, and have lots and lots of babies of their own.

I'm hoping that more eggs will hatch. Three little shrimpies do not constitute a "colony". I am caring for them as best I can, bubbling air into their water twice a day for oxygen, and keeping them out of direct sunlight. They only need to be fed once a week, so I haven't opened the food pouch yet.

I've got to tell you, it's pretty exciting to see life, no matter how small, emerge from a pouch of powder and two cups of water. I like watching the little guys propelling themselves around. When they were first hatched they didn't swim so much as flex spasmodically. Now they're swimming with direction and purpose. I don't know where they're going, in that little tank with nothing else in it, but they seem to have a plan.

To be continued!