Friday, May 1, 2009

Grace in Small Things #13

1) Being able to pee without whimpering in pain.

2) The closet collapsed.

That in itself isn't so great. I was pushing a couple of shirts out of the way to reach the vaccuum cleaner when, with no warning at all, the rack that held half the clothes in the closet fell off the wall. I stood staring at the mess for a full minute before I could truly register what had happened. That was on Tuesday.

The awesome part is that Ken has taken the opportunity to replace the old, off-white, plastic-dipped wire shelving in the closet with something considerably more substantial. Our new closet, which should be fully installed by tonight, is made of shiny chrome bars and oak shelving. Alright, it's FAKE oak; we're not made of money. But wow, it's super-slick. Ken spent all day yesterday installing most of the new system, and it's 100 times nicer than the old one.

Public shout-out to Ken for all his incredibly taxing work in the closet: Thanks Hon! You're my wicked-cool handyman.

3) The photographer has a DVD ready for us with 200 wedding pictures on it. As soon as we deliver a large sum of cash money to him all our Top Model/GQ wannabe shots will be ours to share and admire. So! Excited!

4) My colleagues at work have been spoiling me. My staff all pitched in to give Ken and I a very generous gift card to a fancy spa in honour of our marriage. They have all sorts of exotic items on the menu, like hot stone massage, and underwater stretching sessions. I'm going to try the weirdest treatments possible, because where's the fun in a plain old pedicure?

The folks outside my department also joined in with signing a card, and surprised me with a cake and a potted plant:

It's an anthurium. I expect plenty of lewd comments on this one. Don't let me down.

5) Sleeping with the window open just enough to let in fresh air and the lullaby of rain.


SoMi's Nilsa said...

Is it wrong of me to be excited for your wedding pictures? As if you're not an anonymous blogger? As if you're going to post your favorites for the world to see? Well, a girl can dream, right? Anyway, hope they're fabulous and that you have a wonderful weekend!

darcknyt said...

I'm so glad to hear you're feeling better, and the collapsing closet will bring many new and exciting cool things for you.


Warped Mind of Ron said...

Glad to hear you are doing the non screaming peeing.

wigsf said...

You know, there's no fun in me writing a comment about how much that plant reminds me of big vagina about to be penetrated by a vegetable because no suitable man could be found.


On to another topic. If you're going with fake oak, why not go with a fake wood that looks better than oak. I guess, if you like oak, but I don't. Oak looks cheap. So, if you're going to go fake, go for the gusto and get fake walnut or cherry or something.

LL Cool Joe said...

The closet making sounds like a whole lot of fun. Of course we call that a a cupboard here in the UK. Weird name right?

Glad to hear you can pee without screaming. Just as well, because the neighbours may wonder what all the screaming is about. They could assume they are living next door to newly weds on something...oh.

unsigned said...

Tell your man to come out of the closet!

Sparkling Red said...

Nilsa: I have a devious plan. I'm going to invite all my regular commenters to send me a current e-mail address, and I will e-mail photos, complete with faces, to those whom I deem to be trustworthy. That includes you! So, go ahead and be excited!

Darcknyt: Thank you! It's an old cliche coming true - crisis = opportunity. :-)

Ron: I knew you'd be happy for me.

WIGSF: Fake oak matches best with our flooring, which is fake some-other-type-of-wood. The previous owners laid down quite a handsome laminate from Ikea, and we decorated everything to match that.
P.S. I steal your fun because I WANT MORE FUN! If I don't have my own I'll steal yours, got it?

LL Cool Joe: Really? A cupboard? Here a cupboard would be similar to a closet, but smaller. You couldn't get yourself into a cupboard. If it's big enough to fit a person into, it's a closet. Or at least that's my understanding of the terms.

Unsigned: Will do.

michelle said...

it's nice to know that you got the sickness and the worse (because a broken closet is definitely a "for worse" moment in my opinion!) from your vows out of the way early! :) glad you are feeling better and get to enjoy some crazy spa fun ... please do something that involves mud! i have always wanted to do a mud bath or something ... but my dislike of getting dirty hampers me. ;)

savia said...

I hope I get the backstage pass to the pics, too - I can't wait to see them.

Also, your plant makes me all tingly in my bathing suit parts.

LL Cool Joe said...

Yeah, you are right. A cupboard is smaller, what you are talking about would be called a wardrobe. If it's large, it's a walk in wardrobe. :D

Can you imagine Eminem's "Cleanin' Out My Closet" working as as "Cleanin' Out My Wardrobe"? I don't think so. :D

NicoleB said...

Giggle,I always thought those plants slightly hilarious :D

Ouch for the closet, but hey, good you have a handyman :D

And hey again, I made the Photographer for ONE wedding and since then I know why they charge steep prices, never ever again for free!

Scarlet said...

Weird spa treatments...I'd love to choose from one of those! A pedicure would be nice, too...but bring on the mud baths! ;)

PS - Being able to pee without pain is priceless. I'm glad all's well in that department.

Jameil said...

i'm super excited abt the wedding photos, too! lol. underwater stretching?? so bizarre. i didn't like the hot stone massage. i thought the rocks were the perfect temp for all of 30 secs then they were too hot or too cold. i'm also not a fan of being molested by strangers so spas aren't for me. i hope you guys LOVE it!! pics of the new closet? i love closet organization!!

Sparkling Red said...

Michelle: In theory I would love to try a mud bath. In practice I get grossed out when I consider that the mud is not made fresh for each new person who climbs into the mud tub. That's recycled mud. Ew.

Savia: Most definitely, you're on the VIP list.
Good old "bathing suit parts." That's one of my favourite euphemisms ever.

LL Cool Joe: So if a gay person reveals their sexual preference to friends and family in the U.K., is that called "coming out of the wardrobe"? ;-)

Nicole: Our photographer definitely worked hard to earn his pay. He ran; he crouched; he sweated buckets in the botanical greenhouse where we had our bride-and-groom photo shoot. I can see why it's not something you'd want to do for free.

Scarlet: My favourite spa treatment ever was having my back painted with hot parafin wax and then relaxing face-down on a massage table while it cooled. My back has never been that relaxed before or since.

Jameil: To be honest, I'm not a big spa girl myself. I have a massage therapist who I know well, and I'm not in a hurry to disrobe in front of strangers. I had a hot stone massage one time and the stones were uncomfortable. But hey, it's worth a try. It's a really fancy spa, so maybe they'll do everything extra-good.