Thursday, July 9, 2009

Night BBQ

The other day I wandered into the kitchen at 6:40 am, still rubbing sleep from my eyes. I had washed up all the dishes before I went to bed. Now there was a plate with BBQ sauce on it, and an empty Styrofoam meat tray in the trash.

Looks like Ken had himself a little midnight snack.

Later in the day I mentioned it to him. He told me that he got hungry at 11:30 pm, and took a walk to the 24-hour supermarket to buy himself a steak.

When he got home he suddenly began to worry that perhaps our condo complex might have a rule about BBQ use. We do have quite a few rules, like no roller blading on the property, parking restrictions, etc. But I've never heard one about BBQ's.

Anyway, he didn't want to cook the steak on the stove, because that would heat up the house, and plus, it would be so much less delicious. So he used our BBQ, which is on the front patio, but anytime he heard a car coming down the driveway he ducked down and hid.

I could just imagine him crouching down stealthily, tongs in one hand, saucy brush in the other, waiting for each car to pass. That's my man: Master of Ninja Stealth Cooking!

He succeeded. No authorities came by to give him a $200 ticket for Outdoor Cookery at an Improper Hour. And I'm told that the steak was very yummy.

16 comments:

Warped Mind of Ron said...

Even if he had been seen he could have defended himself by hurling onion rings at them until he could fade into the shadows.

darcknyt said...

Except for the barbecue sauce, this is a man after my own heart. (I'm a purist with steaks.)

Karen said...

I must say that when I feel like a midnight snack, I normally go for toast or a bowl of ice cream or sometimes even fast food (If I am drunkish). But never, ever, ever in my life would I have considered A) going to the store to purchase a STEAK and B) firing up the grill to cook said STEAK in the middle of the night.

You have a keeper there, Spark. He clearly thinks outside of the box and goes after what he wants!

wigsf said...

This is what's wrong with high density domiciles. It's your house, your home, but you have to follow somebody else's rules.
What if Ken was working evenings and was sleeping in the days. On his day off, it would be against the rules for him to have a barbecue lunch on his day off at midnight even though his midnight would be everybody else's noon.
Actually, regardless of his schedule. It's his home, if he wants to barbecue at night, it's his right! In fact, I would suggest a midnight outdoor dinner party. A classy affair, not loud, not rowdy, but all meat prepared outdoors, the way it is meant to be prepared.

powdergirl said...

I always have to suggest that BBQing at night be done naked.
Totally throws the authorities of the scent.

Scarlet said...

I've never heard of a no BBQ rule anywhere...or anyone cooking steak in the middle of the night. I'm glad he didn't get caught and was able to enjoy it!

Vanessa said...

Midnight steak sounds totally wonderful and hedonistic. I love it!

Sparkling Red said...

Ron: You mean like Ninja stars? I would want to catch them in my mouth.

darcknyt: Me too. I usually don't put sauce on my steak. I don't even use salad dressing on my salad.

Karen: Yes, when he decides that he wants something, he goes for it 110%. Sometimes I can't summon the energy to cook when it's actually dinnertime, let alone the middle of the night.

wigsf: Just to clarify, I don't believe that there's any rule governing BBQ's in our complex. It's just that Ken was recently at the AGM, and a lot of rules were being tossed around by a lot of aggressive people. He thought he'd better play it on the safe side, in case there was a rule he didn't know about.

powdergirl: I think that strategy would work better for you than for Ken. Although he might be able to get away with a tasteful tankini.

Scarlet: You know what they say: the forbidden steak is the tastiest one. ;-)

Vanessa: You've hit the nail on the head. He's a hedonist all right. :-)

LL Cool Joe said...

Ha, ha I'm with Karen on this one! Wow, he must have been hungry to go shopping for food at midnight.

So are you feeding him enough?

Ok, you can hit me now!!

NicoleB said...

I think this is the most hilarious thing I've heard in a long while, mmwwwaahhhhaaaa :)
But I'm glad the Steak was yummy :D

Sparkling Red said...

Joe: *boff* That's for assuming that it's my responsibility to feed him! ;-) Actually he had a very late lunch that day. So he kind of ate lunch at dinnertime and dinner got postponed into the night.

Nicole: I thought it was hilarious! I'm glad you agree. :-)

unsigned said...

It was probably the only steak that night that didn't end up stuck in a vampire.

Jameil said...

lol! all that trouble, he could've at least given you one!

Jenski said...

Quite the midnight snack...and "adventure".

Aurora said...

I think our condo locks the doors to the bbq terrace, so it would be difficult for us to match that performance...

Sara Fryd said...

You mean the barbeque police didn't come by at 2:30 am? This is adorable. We share a friend darcknyt.