Convalescence

Yesterday I left my house for the first time, after two days of being stuck indoors. It was fabulously good to be out, feeling the wind, hearing the whisperings of leaves, watching white, puffy clouds chase each other across a jubilantly blue sky.

I walked to the library. I discovered along the way that they had moved the library a fair ways further from my home than usual. But I like a challenge, so I picked up my heavy legs and took step after step until I was finally there. Then I sat on the floor in the stacks. I took it as an opportunity to browse the lower shelves, which I would normally ignore, as I rested.

The first time I was sick with this virus, I spent the whole time, when I wasn't fever-stoned, feeling worried about all the things I wasn't getting done. This time I have simply given myself over to the process. If I miss work, I miss work. If I can't get to Babyland, they'll have to make do without me.

Yes, this is the same virus that got me three weeks ago. I'm what Ken calls "re-sick". I was doing great. Had achieved what I felt was a full recovery. But then I had a stressful day, didn't sleep well, and woke up with a sore throat. The sore throat stressed me out more, and disturbed my sleep for the next two nights. I got worn down. And before I knew it, BAM. All the exact same symptoms that I had three weeks ago had me pinned down once again.

My step-dad, who had the same virus, isn't surprised. He says that he's had three relapses so far, over six weeks. Nice. The good news is that each is less severe than the last. And I am recuperating faster than the last time. The bad news is that this troublemaking bug will probably be hanging out in my body for a few more weeks to come. I'm going to have to seriously limit my activities for the entire month of September. *sigh*

Meanwhile I am trying, and mainly succeeding, in being Zen about the whole experience. If I have to slow down, why not enjoy it? For example, when the aches and shivers of a fever woke me up at 4:00 am a few days ago, instead of huddling in the dark and feeling sorry for myself, I tried to make the best of things.

First of all I got up and did some yoga stretches, because no matter how sick I am yoga always calms me down and reduces my symptoms for a while. Then I settled on my bed with an honest, inspiring book. At 4:15 am, the automatic sprinklers popped up on the little patch of lawn outside my window. The shush of water falling on grass in an otherwise silent condo complex. Eventually my eyes started to droop and I fell back into a restful sleep.

I can't take any fever-reducing medications because of how cruelly they shred my stomach, so I just have to ride the ups and downs as they come.

Today I'm skipping church, because I was scheduled for Babyland duty and I didn't want to be responsible for giving swine flu to the infants. Ken will be home soon. I'll drag my heavy limbs into the car, and we'll go out somewhere nice for lunch so I can get out of the house for a little bit. How I'll do with getting in to work tomorrow is anyone's guess. But I'll take it as it comes.