Wednesday, September 29, 2010

A La Carte

Ken and I don't cook for ourselves much these days. We're just too tuckered out by 6pm to face shopping, cooking, and cleaning. Maybe we should try harder. Sometimes I think so. But it's so much easier to pay someone else to hand over a plate of food.

Sometimes we throw caution to the winds and eat whatever. All day breakfast with really fatty salty bacon. Big, juicy burgers with fries and onion rings. Chinese food glossy with oil and cornstarch. Last time we went to Asian Legend, the lemon chicken was like a sweet, citrusy chicken donut covered in gooey sauce. At a certain point "decadent" becomes "gross".

For my birthday we went to Baton Rouge, the ultimate Canadian slightly-classy pig-out destination. They specialize in grilled meats, especially ribs, served on large oval platters with your choice of sides, usually a pile of fries big enough to choke a horse. This one time I was eating dinner there, and a horse actually came in, gobbled all the fries off my plate in one mouthful, and then choked to death right there on the floor. No one was willing to attempt mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

Well, it seriously could have happened.

Like I said, it was my birthday. We showed up on a Monday, which happens to be the day for discounts. 10 oz. of ribs usually goes for $19 and 16 oz. is usually $25, I think, but on Mondays the 16 oz. is only $ 20. So of course I ordered the larger portion. That's why doggie bags were invented.

We also ordered up a couple of strawberry Daiquiri's. If you can believe it, neither of us had ever tried one before. They are very easy to drink. I could barely taste the rum. We waited for our food to arrive. Ken took advantages of pauses in the conversation to thoughtfully lick sugar crystals off the rim of his glass.

Ken ordered a second Daiquiri when we were partway through our meal. He said that it tasted stronger than the first one. By the time he got to the bottom of the glass, he was claiming that either they made that one a triple or someone had slipped him a roofie. He did seem a little loopy.

"You've seen me drink!" he said. "I can have six drinks before I get tipsy!" I'm not sure sure about that. The fact is that when you're at home on your couch, drinking to unknot a stiff back at the end of a long day, it's a lot easier to miss how tipsy you're getting because you're not expected to get up and walk around, or carry on a civilized conversation. Ken doesn't drink all the time, don't get me wrong, but when he has one of his nights I do notice that the Most Watched YouTube videos suddenly seem much funnier to him than usual. By which I mean, there is uninhibited giggling. Therefore: tipsy!

But not after only two drinks. This was something unusual.

Fortunately we were within walking distance from home. On the way back I held Ken's elbow just in case. He walked in a gentle slalom pattern, and serenaded me with an improvised song about how there are a lot of condos.

I wonder what the hell Baton Rouge put in that drink.


Juniper said...

I imagine a strawberry dacquiri is one of those drinks where you think you're fine until you stand up...

By the way, you don't have to do the shopping, cooking and cleaning ALL on the same day ;-)

Thank you for making me want steak, and we have chicken and mushroom pie for dinner. Oh well.


Karen said...

Now I want ribs. And a daiquiri.

WhatIGotSoFar said...

I took my main squeeze to Baton Rouge on Sunday. We each had a manhattan. One was visibly stronger than the other. The waitress gave my partner the stronger one and me the weaker one.
That's a good waitress.

And the chicken tenders with mashed potatoes is to die for.

Jameil said...

LOL @ a sweet, citrusy chicken donut! I know who slipped Ken a mickey... she's close to you... wrote this post... celebrated her bday.... Yeah you didn't hide THAT very well!

Warped Mind of Ron said...

Mmmm... dacquiri's are good, I usually get them without the alcohol because i'm like a buzz kill. Thank god you were there for Ken, otherwise he would have woken up in a Tiawana Brothel as the new bitch!

LL Cool Joe said...

Ha ha, yeah everything seems funnier after a few drinks. It's when they turn to you and start saying "You know I really love you. No I mean it, I love you so much. Have I told you how much I love you? My life would mean nothing without you!" It's time to get them to drink several large glasses of water and get them to bed. :D

DarcKnyt said...

I want you to order six of those drinks and send them to me, post-haste, young lady! :)

Sparkling Red said...

Juniper: Aw heck, and now I want chicken and mushroom pie for dinner! This is a vicious cycle.

Karen: I could definitely go for a daiquiri right now. (A roofie-free daiquiri.)

WIGSF: Nice! That sounds like a good date.

Jameil: My theory is: the bartender assumed that the drink order was for me, and he thought he'd be doing Ken a favour.

Ron: For reals! What a scary thought. I won't tell Ken - I don't want to give him nightmares.

LL Cool Joe: Those sentiments usually come along with some waaaaay overenthusiastic hugs. Some people need to remember that they weigh twice as much as me. I could easily be crushed by too much drunky love.

DarcKnyt: I dares ya to come to my 'hood and get'em yourself!

DarcsFalcon said...

Hahaha! :D At least no one had to drive. :)

Strawberry daiquiris are my favorite alcoholic drink in the world.

And happy birthday! Steak is an excellent way to celebrate. :)

Scarlet Ily said...

Now I want to try that roofie drink at Baton Rouge! lol

Happy Belated b-day, my friend!! :)