Cheerful Against All Odds

Don't hate me for saying this, but I'm loving the endless rain.  I love the lush greenery and the abundance of cheerleader pom-pom dandelions.  I love watching big, squishy worms ooze along the sidewalk.  I love falling asleep to the sounds of drips, drops, and puddles. 

I'm feeling optimistic, a propos of nothing.  I just feel good.  Even though I may need to fire another employee, *sigh*.  These things happen, and I refuse to get caught up in the drama of it as I did last time.  I recognized, after weeks of being in the doldrums, that I had identified with the employee because recently the future of  my job had been slightly called into question.  I was thinking of how sad I would be if I lost my job.  Then I got confused about the fact that I hadn't and probably won't for at least a while yet and I think that at some level I thought I was her.  Once I figured out what I was doing, I snapped out of it.  I promise not to do it again.

I feel good even after the fiasco on the bus.  I was running for a bus that had already pulled away from the curb but was stopped at a red light with the doors open.  I was moving fast so it felt natural to execute a graceful, gazelle-like leap up into the bus.  It was all very Chariots of Fire until my trailing foot failed to clear the doorsill and I went down like a sack of bricks.  I was carrying two bags, a full-sized umbrella, and trailing a coat-belt and a long scarf, so it must have looked like a full closet collapsed onto the floor. 

From where I had fallen, I looked up into the terrified face of the driver.  I could see the whites all around his eyes.  I'm sure he was like "Oh shit, I didn't follow safety protocol and now I'm going to get sued and fired and probably thrown into a swamp of rabid alligators!"  Technically he shouldn't have had his doors open once he was away from the curb - the extra height between the road and the bus floor was what did me in.  Of course also I shouldn't have been jumping for it like an idiot.  I am willing to take full responsibility for my goof.

He asked me if I was OK, and I assured him that I was fine and moved to the back of the bus.  We waited there for five minutes or so.  Apparently I fell so hard that I broke the bus, because shortly after that there was announcement that we were all to offload and wait for the next bus due to mechanical problems.  Gee, good thing I near to killed myself running for it!  Anyway, later on my knees turned purple and swole up good, but it didn't hurt much, and I got the ground-in stains out of my trousers with one wash.

I did feel sorry for myself for the rest of the evening, but I got over it, and I'm all good now.