Saturday, April 16, 2011

What do wireless networking and cantaloupe have in common?

I got my blood test results.  They were reassuringly and frustratingly normal.  I have one hormone that's a little low, and I could stand to take more vitamin D.  I am no closer to understanding my strange bouts of aching fatigue.

I brought the test results to Dr. H (the ex-MD turned homeopath).  He gave me another go at the machine that goes FWEEEP, this time testing for food sensitivities and, subsequently, the condition of my internal organs.  Nothing special came out of the organ testing.  When it came to food sensitivities, a few more no-no's were tacked onto my existing list: mushrooms; cantaloupe; cane sugar; all forms of vinegar; green tea; and chocolate.  That's right: the machine said that sugar and chocolate should be completely eliminated from my diet.  :-ppppp  That's all I have to say about that.

After the machine testing, I was ushered into Dr. H's consulting room.  I swear, the man talked at me non-stop for over an hour.  He has a lot of opinions, and while I do believe that some of what he had to say might prove to be useful, the more he talked the more my impression of him dimmed.

Dr. H is an extremist.  If I hadn't spent 4 years working in the alternative health industry in my early 20's, I probably would have been overwhelmed by everything he said, and I might have tried to implement all of his suggestions.  Fortunately, I've long since learned the lesson that there is a law of diminishing returns.  Some lifestyle changes are worth making: like eating more vegetables.  Others aren't worth the trouble.  I'm picky enough about everything in my life without adding unnecessary rules.  The line between fastidious health maintenance and paranoia is a blurry one.

Here are some of the notes I made during my meeting with Dr. H:

  • Discontinue all use of wireless electronics immediately.
  • Battery alarm clock - not plug-in.
  • Get rid of microwave oven.
  • Walk barefoot on wet grass.
  • 4-day rotation diet.

I am not planning to follow up on any of these suggestions.  Yes, I do believe that I am sensitive to electromagnetic fields.  I got rid of my electric blanket for that very reason.  However, were we to shut down our wireless network, our home would still be flooded by signals from the 19 of our neighbours whose wireless networks are available from our living room.  We may as well leave ours on and enjoy it. 

With regards to the other suggestions, I must wake up with the CBC morning news.  Nothing else will do.  I refuse to trade my clock-radio for a travel alarm clock that ticks in my ear all night, then wakes me up with ugly beeping and honking.

Eliminate all use of microwave ovens?  Let me get this straight.  I am not supposed to store my food in plastic containers.  I am not supposed to eat food made with yeast, which eliminates bread (and bagels!) and therefore sandwiches.  I am not supposed to heat food in a microwave oven.  And I'm not supposed to eat fast food.  Gee, looks like I won't be eating lunch on work days anymore!  Unless I care to consume cold leftovers, which I would need to bring to work in a glass jar.

See how easily these things can get out of hand?

Other things he told me.  The FWEEEPing machine indicates that I am sensitive to mould.  No headline news there.  Mould isn't good for anybody.  What else?  He claims that I have the "imprints" for Lyme disease.  Did I spend much time in the country as a child?  Go camping?  Ride horseback? Have I ever been bitten by a tick? No, no, no, and not to the best of my knowledge.  Could I have been bitten by a tick and not known it?  I suppose anything is possible.  Considering that there is no definitive blood test for Lyme, we'll probably never know.  Personally, I think it's very unlikely.

So, what does he want to do next?  Test me on the FWEEEPing machine to see which supplements would be best for me.  OK, I'm game.  What else?  He has something he calls the Biocomp which supposedly emits vibrations which cancel out the bad imprints he found, like the one for Lyme disease.  Well, I'm not so sure about that, but I suppose it's worth a try.  

The bottom line is that he's not nearly as cutting-edge and knowledgeable as I had hoped.  Most of the advice that he gave me consisted of things I've heard a hundred times before.  EMF = bad.  Organic = good.  Black mould = bad.  Please, tell me something I don't know.

I thought he might have access to European studies on alternative medicine that no one is paying attention to yet in North America.  I thought he might have run studies himself.  I thought he might be able to do decisive tests to find out what is actually wrong with me, if anything.  Sometimes I think that I'm fine and it's the world that's just too much: too tiring, too polluted, too screwed up.

As my hopes faded away, I have to admit that my disappointment turned into a feeling of depression that has stuck with me for the past few days.  I'll get over it.  I'm actually doing alright these days.  I'm tired, but not to the point of shuffling.  I'm a little achey today, but that's just because it's raining.  Nothing serious.  In fact, my blood tests showed that my iron has gone from the "anemic" range to "insufficient": Hurray!  I'm only 6 points away from the lowest "normal" count.  I'll get there.

As for whether or not Dr. H is going to be of any help to me beyond lightening the exhaustingly heavy burden of my wallet, only time will tell. I'll give his Biocomp a chance.  We'll see.


DarcKnyt said...

Wow! You know, if I'd known it was your wallet giving you the bouts of exhaustion, I'd have invited you to send me your cash a long time ago. Because of the conversion rates you would have regained your energy at something like 1.3 times faster.

We're praying for you Spark. Hang in there. :)

Warped Mind of Ron said...

Here's hoping he's got something better next time you visit. Hey, when nothing else is working it doesn't hurt to try something a little outside the mainstream... maybe not as outside as he seemed to be talkin, but you get the idea.

kenju said...

It sounds as if he has gone off the deep end. I would take everything he says with a grain of salt.

Jameil said...

Of all of those walk barefoot on wet grass is BY FAR my favorite!!!!!! So extra awesome!!! I'm really glad you're feeling okay these days. (I didn't know mold was a word you could Canadize!)

ileana said...

Wow, he does sound like an extremist, and I'm with you...some things are just not worth giving up. You know YOU best and it helps to get suggestions from a doctor who's not always pushing pills, but if he keeps this up, he'll be pushing paranoia...and that's not good either.

Trust your instincts, chica. You really do know best. I will continue to pray that you find answers and that you don't have to spend a fortune to figure it out.

Hugs, Ily xo

Claire said...

Oh hon, I'm sorry the meeting was so disappointing. Praying for you.


Jenski said...

Does this mean you won't be giving up chocolate? ;-) You could avoid standing in front of the microwave when it is on; I have a friend who prefers landlines because she seems prone to headaches with lots of cell phone usage. I think you know how to take care of yourself and if you can glean any little ideas from a wacko that help a little, all the better. Good luck! Some sunny warm spring weather might help too. :-)

Sparkling Red said...

DarcKnyt: Since Canada converted to coins instead of $1 and $2 bills, my wallet has indeed become quite heavy at times. I like that the exchange rate is working in my favour. Maybe I should mail you my piggy bank. ;-)

Ron: I'm willing to try most things once, so long as they don't seem dangerous. I have had very mixed results with non-traditional medicine. Some of it (like homeopathic remedies) works well for me, and some of it (like energy work by badly trained practitioners) does more harm than good. I guess there's no way to know but to run the experiment. I'll report back.

Kenju: Indeed. Just to get to his office Ken has to drive me for over an hour on the 401. On the way home we got stuck behind a rusty old truck that looked like something out of the Mad Max movie (post-apocalyptic scenario) and I felt sick breathing the stinky diesel fumes for mile after mile. It's not like you can choose to escape our messed-up world. I got sicker getting home from the doctor than I would of if I had just stayed home and tolerated the status quo.

Jameil: I'm gouing to start randoumly adding u's tou wourds tou see if anyoune noutices the difference between the valid Canadian varients and my made-up nounsense. ;-)

Ileana: Thanks! What it comes down to is that I've experimented a lot over the years, and I have pretty much figured out which things are worth sacrificing and which are not. The things I do without are already fairly numerous. Adding to that list unnecessarily would only be depressing, and we all know that's unhealthy.

Claire: Thanks m'dear! I do believe that prayers help a lot.

Jenski: I don't eat much chocolate. Maybe once or twice a week I'll treat myself. I think that's moderation enough. I barely ever use my cell phone. It makes my ear feel warm and blurry, not in a good way. I'm not too worried about the microwave, although it's probably a good idea to give it some space while it's running. If it's true that it breaks down vitamins in one's food, I'm sure I more than make up for that with all the vitamin pills I swallow.

DarcsFalcon said...

"the more he talked the more my impression of him dimmed"

LOL I've had dates that went pretty much the same way!

I'm sorry he doesn't seem to be measuring up to your expectations and/or hopes. That's always a bummer. I will continue to pray.

At least he didn't tell you that it was your exhaustingly heavy wallet that was the actual cause of all your troubles! LOLOL You had an awesome line there Spark! I actually laughed out loud at that one. :) Startled Darc! :D

wigsf3 said...

He didn't try to sell you snake oil, did he?

Keera Ann Fox said...

Hi, there! Long time, no see! You may want to check out Jimmy Moore's Living la Vida Low-carb website (yeah, I know, goofy title but he interviews solid people). He has podcasts and one of them was all about how vitamin D deficiency mimics chronic fatigue syndrome, etc. Shownotes. Very under-diagnosed because most doctors don't realize how much vitamin D we all need, especially we up north.

I'm not affiliated or anything. The show is something I listened to while trying to sort out my own digestive troubles (who knew cutting out grains helps IBS?). I just thought if you're trying to figure out a mystery, vitamin D may be one thing to look into. BTW, I eliminated grains and sugar, but not chocolate! Never chocolate! :-)