Saturday, April 26, 2008

Four Things

I was tagged by San. .

Four jobs I've had:

1) Retail sales in a health food store.
2) I interned as a junior editor at Harlequin Romance in Canada. While I was there they had a major editorial meeting to debate whether or not they would allow the word "penis" to be published in one of their books.
3) Wholesale sales rep for a herbal remedies company. I trundled my little sample case all over Southern Ontario (note to non-Canadians - this is a huge territory!) without the benefit of a car. One of the items I sold was caterpillar fungus tea.
4) Teaching Microsoft Systems Administrator courses to adults at a full-time private day school.

Four places I've lived:

1) My parents' house. I never really appreciated the beautiful view from my window (trees, sky, the neighbours' nicely groomed backyards) until I moved to...
2) An unbearably dark one-room basement apartment, shared with my ex, one gerbil, two cats, 21 mice, and 1,031 giant cockroaches. In contrast, I very much appreciated...
3) The well-lit, pest-free basement apartment with the separate bedroom and big kitchen. Although the view from my bedroom window was a brick wall. Then I stepped it up to...
4) A corner apartment, second floor. Blond, parquet floors. Flooded with light from sunrise to sunset. There was a store downstairs called "Happy Convenience". What more could one want?

Four people I want to bitch-slap right into the middle of next week:

1) Litterbugs.
2) Careless drivers.
3) Obnoxiously loud teenagers in my subway car when I'm trying to read.
4) People who don't want to take "No" for an answer. I hate wasting my time telling them "No" a dozen times until they finally accept it.

Four people who e-mail me regularly:

1) My 92-year-old grandmother, bless her heart.
2) My relatives who live on the West coast. I have a 6-year-old cousin there who's cute as pie. I love getting updates from her mom.
3) My mom. Ok, well, she's not a "regular", but I'm so proud of her for learning to use e-mail that I had to give her an honourable mention.
4)'s promotional department. They live in hope.

Four TV shows I watch:

1) The Simpsons
2) America's Next Top Model
3) A Haunting
4) Supernanny

Four places I've visited:

1) Barbados
2) The South of France: Nice and St. Jean Cap Ferrat
3) South Africa
4) England (whirlwind tour)

Four favourite foods:

1) Chocolate chip cookies
2) Gnocchi
3) Nabeyaki Udon
4) Tandoori Chicken

Four places I'd like to be right now:

1) Riding a unicorn over the rainbow.
2) Swimming with dolphins and mermaids in a tropical harbour.
3) Napping in a hammock in a treehouse high up in the canopy of the rainforest.
4) Sitting at the top of a mountain, wrapped in a blanket, just before sunrise, overlooking the desert.

Four things I'm looking forward to this year:

1) Spring!
2) Summer!
3) Fall!
4) Completing Blog365!

Four people I'm tagging:

1) Ron
2) Whatigotsofar
3) R.E.H.
4) Stewie


Karen said...

I want to work for Harlequin! How cool is that? Those were some interesting facts.

Nilsa S. said...

Chocolate chip cookies rule!

Aurora said...

I would love to have been at that Harlequin meeting. That sounds like grand material for a sociology dissertation.

jameil1922 said...

Bless you for not tagging me, my child. junior editor at Harlequin Romance?! LOVE! i used to send myself into paroxysms of giggles in college by creating bad romance novel paragraphs which used phrases like pert raisins and quivering member (i know it's an oldie but it's too funny to give up) as euphemisms. i'm going to vomit @ that tea. i don't even like blackberry flavored tea. english breakfast only for me please. also vomit @ the pests!! take me to the first 3 places on your list! *scratching head @ the places you want to be*

Warped Mind of Ron said...

I will try this meme, but I'm warning you now I am a very boring person. The meme will not be exiting

Leighann said...

caterpillar fungus tea? I think I'll pass on that!!

1218Blog said...

I thought the "penis" was what Harlequin Romance was all about. LOL! What did they use instead?

Sparkling Red said...

Karen: The women who worked full-time at Harlequin really enjoyed themselves. It was fun to get a peek behind the scenes of romance publishing.

Nilsa: Amen to that. :-)

Aurora: Oh yes, they took it very seriously. I can't even remember what they decided. Whatever, that was back in 1993 so I'm sure the matter has been revisited since then.

Jameil: The best part of the job was screening unsolicited manuscripts written by amateur authors. Some were quite good, others were so-so, and some were hilariously awful. Like the ones written in broken English. I felt guilty for laughing, because the authors put so much effort in, but they were truly ridiculous.

Ron: I don't believe you for a second. I know you'll be inspired to jazz it up. You don't know what you're going to write until you're writing it, but it'll be awesome.

Leighann: I drank a fair bit of it during that job. It was surprisingly good. It tasted sweet, and a little woodsy.

1218blog: 15 years ago when I was there, Harlequin had 3 lines of books. There was the conservative line for grannies, which was all about gazing into each others' eyes and old-fashioned gallantry. Then there was the medium line, which had some sex but that wasn't the main focus. Then there was the red-hot, steamy line that was all about sex. But still they were using the old, tired euphemisms: "his manhood", "his hardness" or as Jameil mentioned, the good old "quivering member".

whatigotsofar said...

Riding a unicorn over the rainbow.

That's a euphimism for sex, right?

Keera Ann Fox said...

Are rainbows soft to fall into? Cuz if I were riding a unicorn, I'd probably fall off.

I think I'd be better off swinging on a star, carrying moonbeams home in a jar.

I am certainly quite grateful you didn't tag me, Spark. I have a hard enough time thinking of one of anything!

Except moonbeams.

Sparkling Red said...

Whatigotsofar: That's one acceptable interpretation.

Keera: I always had the impression, as a kid, that if you fell onto a rainbow you'd slide down it all the way to earth, but of course you'd magically slow down near the bottom and have a gentle landing.

Keera Ann Fox said...

Oh, good. In that case, let's all ride unicorns over rainbows!

unsigned said...

The job I love best is the blow job.

Maxie said...

so what was the verdict? was penis used?

whatigotsofar said...

I got the tag. I wrote it all up. Gonna post it later this week.

Sparkling Red said...

Keera: For a moment there I thought you were referring to Whatigotsofar's interpretation of "riding a unicorn over the rainbow". Or were you? ;-)

Unsigned: Would WSIB cover a work-related injury in that job?

Maxie: I don't remember. I was more amused by the idea of the meeting than by the outcome, apparently.

Whatigotsofar: Cool.

Jenski said...

Sounds like a fun meeting at Harlequin Romance!

Your gramma emails but your mom is just learning? Interesting. :)

Sparkling Red said...

Jenski: The grandma who e-mails is my father's mother. My mother's mother hadn't even seen the internet at all until I showed her a few sites this past January. She liked ;-)

R.E.H. said...

Hey, that meme was new to me at least. I'll get on it as soon as I can.