Saturday, May 17, 2008

The Bad Eye Day

If eye stuff grosses you out, stop reading now.

I had a bad eye day. It's like a bad hair day, but more awful. Everything was going along normally until dinnertime, then my eyes went to pieces.

Ken was in the kitchen preparing dinner. Mmm... homemade flour tortillas with chicken, guacamole, refried beans, jalapenos... extra peppery jalapenos.

The jalapeno oil got into the air. I could feel it as a tickle at the back of my throat. Then, as I removed my left contact lens, I managed to scratch my eye.

Have you ever scratched your eye? It feels like there's an eyelash stuck in your eye but you can't see anything in there. You press your nose to the mirror and pull your eyelid back, hoping to find an offending speck so that you can pluck it out and end the irritation. But there's nothing to take out. You just end up making it worse.

Every time you blink, it feels like there's sand in your eye. It becomes difficult to think of anything else. The following process takes up your entire awareness:


Ow, my eye!


Ow, my eye!


Ow, my eye!


Since this has happened to me once before, I knew what to do. I headed out to the closest pharmacy to buy a tube of ophthalmic ointment: a clear goopy lubricant. It coats the surface of your eye in a mixture of petroleum jelly and mineral oil. This soothes the scratch, but of course now you can't see out of that eye because it's covered in a gel of oil.

Finally I was back on the sofa, squinting at the TV through my one good eye. I was damned if I was missing the season finale of American's Next Top Model. As the show progressed, I realized my "good" eye wasn't feeling so good. It was tearing. It was swelling.

The jalapenos.

I was having a reaction to the jalapeno oil in the air. My right eye got more and more red, more and more teary, until I could barely see at all. Ironically, my left eye didn't have a reaction, since it was protected under a layer of goo.

I spent much of the evening sighing and feeling pitiful. However, after a good sleep my eyes are on the mend. I'm giving them a break from the contact lenses for now. I've got my specs on instead. At least I can see!


Martin Crane, Medical Dramatist said...

Got Milk? It is too late, yes, but maybe a milk-bath for your maced eye would have worked (milk's casein dissolves capsaicin). And a video camera, for us to better empathize (yes, sharing tears, not laughter. Really. Not laughter.) with your plight.

Anonymous said...

Eye scream for eye cream!

Warped Mind of Ron said...

LOL.. well at that point you should have closed your eyes and told Ken that he would have to serve you hand and foot until you are healed!

Aric Blue said...

Nice. Way to make my eyes water...

Keera Ann Fox said...

There are some things I am very happy to experience vicariously. :-)

Jenski said...

That sounds like a very weird experience! I put new contacts in one morning and had worse vision. Turns out they sent me the wrong prescription. It is weird not being able to see as usual, so I am glad your eyes got better after a night's sleep!

Anonymous said...

OUCH!! Dreaded peppers!

By the way I moved. No longer 1218blog. Now I am here

ConverseMomma said...

Sorry about your eye, darlin. Hope you feel better soon.

H. said...

Ack! I had a corneal ulcer once and it was the seventh circle of hell. Ouch!

Sparkling Red said...

Martin Crane: That's definitely good to know! I'm sure it's not the last time there'll be hot peppers in the house. I do keep milk in the fridge. I'll give it a try.

Unsigned: Darn tootin'!

Ron: Yeah, I thought about doing that. But then I put on my angel's halo and did the dishes. ;-)

Aric Blue: Here, have a tissue.

Keera: Yes indeed. :-)

Jenski: That must have been very confusing! And thanks, my eyes are totally back to normal now.

1218blog: I found your new site! It looks very stylish.

Conversemomma: Thanks! All the good wishes worked their magic. I'm back to myself, with green eyes instead of red.

H.: Urgh. :-p I believe you. Eye stuff is awful. There's just so many nerve endings there.

Nilsa S. said...

OMG -I have heard horror stories of hot peppers and eyes and terrible terrible outcomes. Not a fun way to spend the night. Hope you're feeling better now.

Aurora said...

Blink! very amusing (sorry to be amused at your pain).
I had an eye-scratch when I was 14. It felt like I had a monster truck in my eye. I remember wearing an eye patch for 3 days. It was fine. The patch was just to make me keep my eye closed--apparently blinking makes it worse.

jameil1922 said...

ophthalmic ointment huh? hmmm! interesting.

Matrika said...

Good post.