Saturday, February 16, 2008

Parent Divorce Update

My step-dad has a new crib now. He and his woman are renting a condo in Florida for the remainder of the winter. He came up to Toronto for a few days on business this week. My mom let him stay at the house so that he would have a chance to go through his mail, which has been piling up for weeks.

She says it's hard when he comes and goes like this. Every time he leaves, she feels the pain of losing him all over again. She always makes plans so that she's not in the house when he re-packs his suitcase and rolls out, so that she doesn't have to say goodbye yet again.

So. What did he do on Wednesday before he locked up and flew back to his new Florida love nest?

He left her a Valentine's Day card on the mantel.

Poor mom. Yeah. Happy Freaking Valentine's day. "I'll always love you. Let's be friends, when I'm not off bonking my new gal pal." He really wants to have his cake and eat it too.

I said to her: "Look. I'll call him and tell him he has to be really mean to you, so that you can be glad to see him go." No more of that mushy stuff. When he re-declares his love for her as he's got one foot out the door on the way to the airport, it just drives her crazy.

I had a chance to talk to him on the phone today. He was on his cellphone and driving at the same time, as usual. We were talking about this and that, when I heard another voice, muffled, at his end. It must be The Woman. I heard his muffled reply, and then he came back to me.

Him: We're just on the highway. There's nothing on either side of us for miles but swamps full of alligators. Not even rest stop. I think we're a little lost.

Me: Uh, wow.

Him (giggling a bit): Well, I guess I'd better go. I have to figure out where we are. I'll talk to you tomorrow, if the alligators don't get us.

Me: Okay. Drive real fast now, so the alligators can't catch you!

Him (laughing): Alright, dear. I'll talk to you soon.

That's typical step-dad: getting lost, not taking it seriously, and running into trouble with dangerous animals. He'd better hope that his new gal has a high tolerance for shenanigans. She ain't seen nothin' yet.


jameil1922 said...

ugh. i got a vday text from my ex. it was just more like me looking at the phone like whaddya want? bizarre. stay at the house?? no indeed. i would say sort your mail at the post office. he didn't actually say what you wrote after happy vday did he?

R.E.H. said...

Ouch. I find that very insensitive of him - leaving a Valentine's card before he leaves. Especially considering this is pretty recent events, the break-up.

Just because he's happy with someone new - he should surely understand what your mom's going through... right?

Karen said...

ugh...I feel for your mom. And in a strange way I feel for your step-dad too. He is trying to be a good guy - trying to be kind to your mom, but he is clearly just totally clueless.

Maybe those gators will eat the new woman and he will come back.

Warped Mind of Ron said...

Wow, you guys are really way to nice. Leaving her for another woman after that amount of time he would be getting his mail from the garbage can if it was me. Wish you guys the best.

Tamara said...

ouch. just, ugh ... ouch.

Jenski said...

Can your Mom fill out a mail forwarding thing for your Dad? How does that work when it's Canada to the U.S.? Next time he heads to Toronto, I hope he doesn't get any cake.

Sparkling Red said...

Jameil: No, he didn't write that other stuff. That was just me filling in the blanks with my sarcasm. He probably wrote something heartfelt and sappy. I didn't read it, and fortunately my mom didn't feel the need to show it to me.

R.E.H.: Yeah, he should, but he doesn't. It's easy for people who've never met him to underestimate exactly how insensitive he is. He's so well-intentioned... it's hard to believe how blind he is to the obvious.

Karen: Actually I haven't spoken to him since that phone call. It is remotely possible that they ran out of gas and were eaten by alligators... but that probably would have been on the news, so I doubt it. ;-]

Warped Mind of Ron: LOL - That's a good one! I'll tell my mom about your suggestion. I think she'll appreciate it, even if she might not take you up on it. She gets a lot of enjoyment from plotting revenge fantasies lately.

Tamara: Thanks for checking in and empathizing. :-)

Jenski: Eventually he's going to get a new Toronto address. He's planning to have two condos, one here and one in Florida, and commute between them depending on the weather. So she's giving him a chance to get his Toronto address arranged, so that he doesn't have to change his address twice. It's in her best financial interest to make sure that his important mail doesn't get lost, because there are business letters in there and she's going to be getting a percentage of his income.

PixieVonAzia said...

Hi thanks for the comment and sorry, I understand THAT portion of the comments but I was referring to another way people do it..

Anyways sorry.. Well I think your stepdad is a punk ass(sounds like my dad). Why is your mom making herself feel worse by letting him stay at the house?

I hope she can get angry enough to stop letting him think it's ok for them to be 'friends' so that he doesn't have to leave 'in your face' valentine cards. She should have ripped it in front of his face to let him know 'screw you'.

oh, and the other woman would of had a freakin' beat down by now =)

Aurora said...

Ack. She wants him to be mad with her? isn't that called projection??

I've watched one too many CSI episodes and man, those alligators are scary. He should be careful.

Aric Blue said...

Weird situation. Not even your dad-dad, it's your step-dad. I just don't imagine ever being close to a step-dad.

(course, my parents are still together so my view is limited)

Sparkling Red said...

Pixievonazia: OK, if that's your preference I can reply to your comments on your blog.

Aurora: Yes, he should be careful. He's also not a very safe driver. I'm actually amazed that he doesn't get hurt more on account of his bad judgement.

Aric Blue: It is weird. Basically I've known him since I was 3 when he started dating my mom. He moved in when I was 8 and he was the guy I called "Dad" ever since. Not 100% like a biological dad, but close enough to have a big impact on me.

Aric Blue said...

So he's the one you consider "dad"? I guess you just put the step-dad thing in the blog for clarification? ('cause it seems to me if someone was my dad from 3 on, I'd just call him dad whenever I spoke about him)

Sparkling Red said...

Aric Blue: Yeah, the thing is, both of my dads are active and present in my day-to-day life. My biological father (a.k.a. bio-dad) has always been around, and has played a significant role in my life since I was in my late teens, when we re-connected in a meaningful way. In various contexts, I refer to both of them as "my dad". So for the blog I'm keeping it to step-dad and bio-dad, like people use older sister and younger sister. It'll always be confusing, but hopefully that will help.

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