Monday, March 24, 2008

Who turned up the gravity?

On Saturday, yesterday as I write this, I was raring to go. I wanted to go out! Now! Into the sunshine!

It was like channeling the hyperactive energy of thousands of children hopped up on chocolate, marshmallows, and egg-hunt excitement. It was that kind of bursting energy which can quickly blur the line between expansive fun and impatient irritability. This is a familiar mood for me. Sometimes I just wake up into it.

Of course I still try to go about my day with a measure of adult decorum. I might want to stamp my feet and run madly in circles, but that's frowned upon in public. So I tried to keep myself reined in.

I had the most trouble when we were in the lighting store. It's a giant, windowless showroom which seems to go on for miles. Ken was very into his lamp shopping, and wandered contentedly from one section to the next, making observations and asking for my opinion. I had a strong urge to run outside and stomp through the snowbanks in the parking lot while yelling "AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRR!". I thought I was hiding my irritability pretty well.

Until later in the car, when Ken, tentatively, as if attempting to diffuse a ticking bomb, asked me if I was "feeling better yet." Dang. I'm so transparent.

Anyway, I got through the day, comforting myself with the thought of today, Sunday, when I'd have hours to run around outside if I wanted to. That's the best medicine: a long walk in my stomping boots, until I'm all worn out.

I got up this morning feeling like a balloon with half the air gone. Crash. That's how I swing. I never know how long the furious energy will last, but if I feel excessively up for a spell (up can mean Extra-Happy-Crazy or Hyper-Angry-Agitated), you can bet money that a crash-landing is around the corner.

I don't feel blue today, just unnaturally tired.

Hopefully a good night's sleep will have me balanced for Monday.


Monday morning: I'm almost back to what I like to think of as my "normal" self again. I don't love being at work, but the routine is stabilizing. It's all good.


Warped Mind of Ron said...

Sometime a Routine is what is needed. Doesn't have to be a good or bad routine just something predictable. I've noticed that the running and screaming in circles is frowned upon here in America too, isn't that cool :)

PixieVonAzia said...

Hope you had a great Easter Weekend.

And who cares who's watching go ahead and stuff your face with chocolate and run around in circles =)

Leighann said...

running and screaming in circles is a part of my daily routine!! :)

Anonymous said...

When you're mad make the pirate noise!

Karen said...

that feeling doesn't come often for me, but when it comes - it is very powerful. too bad my urges normally lead me to the mall....

Nilsa S. said...

Do you think it helps to write about it? To get a sense of your cycles and what helps/doesn't?

Sparkling Red said...

Ron: Maybe what I should be focusing on is finding a culture that encourages vocal and hyperactive flip-outs. Of course, then I'd be obligated to go gaga every day. The novelty would surely wear off after a week or two.

Pixie Von Azia: My mom gave me a couple of Cadbury's Easter Creme Eggs. One of those should contain enough sugar to fuel 50+ laps of my living room. I'll flap my elbows while I run. Baaaaawk, bawk bawk bawk bawk! ;-)

Leighann: Wow, there's a paradigm shift. Incorporate the mad circling into the daily routine, instead of trying to exclude it! Brilliant.

Unsigned: Avast ye, landlubbers! I shall makes ye walk the plank! Arrrrrr!

Karen: Yes, indeed, I have spent some very enthusiastic days at the mall, running on an upswing. I come home with a bag dangling from every finger. Luckily it doesn't impair my fashion judgement, so at least I always get good use out of my purchases.

Nilsa: Yes, it definitely does help. Long weekends are a break in my routine, which always creates a risk of problems. I just never know which way the mood shift is going to go. I know that I could probably spare myself the worst of it if I kept exactly the same sleep and wake times as during weekdays, but sleeping in is so tempting...

jameil1922 said...

well i'm glad you're feeling better. it's been a long time since i needed a break from routine as badly as i need one now... maybe that's not true but I NEED A BREAK!!

Keera Ann Fox said...

Yeah, I do better with routine, too. So, how did Ken survive asking you if you were feeling better? I can't stand being asked how I feel if what I'm feeling is bad in some way. Makes me feeled picked on. (Childhood residue. Just scrawl WIP on me.)

Claire said...

I'm a bitch on wheels when I'm tired - in comparison you're the height of decorum!


R.E.H. said...

Well, I hope you're fully back to your normal self by now... not much fun feeling irritable and annoyed.

Sparkling Red said...

Jameil: I hope you get your break soon. :-)

Keera: I know what you mean about not wanting to be asked. Fortunately, this time it didn't trigger anything except a wish that I'd been better company for him.

Claire: I guess everything is relative. ;-)

R.E.H.: It's now Tuesday and I'm feeling completely back to normal. Woohoo! :-)

Jenski said...

Sometimes when it is raining I want to go outside and just get wet. No one ever thinks it is a good idea though. Glad you are balancing out!

Nicole said...

I know that feeling pretty well.
For me it swings in moments.
One moment I am ready to go climb trees and the next I want to hide underneath the blanket and sleep all day.
Usually a kick in the butt works well.
But lately it's getting too hot too quick and I crash in the afternoons and have a nap.
Not the Best solution, but it helps me get through the days.
And hey, worst thing that can happen when you run around in circles is that those nice guys with the white west come and pick you up, no? ;)

Aurora said...

Yay, spring is on its way! It's much easier to feel energetic in the sun. It just makes you want to enjoy it.

Sparkling Red said...

Jenski: I think it's a good idea. Next time someone's trying to talk you into staying dry indoors, you can ask them to have a word with me. I'll talk some non-sense into them. ;-)

Nicole: I've looked all over the city for a pyjama top with arms that tie up at the back. I hear that the men in the white coats give them away for free!

Aurora: We still have snow and cold, but at least it's been sunny out lately. That's a huge improvement. :-)