Monday, January 7, 2008

Bad News

It looks like my mom and the man I've called "dad" since I was in grade school might be splitting up.

I'm feeling... upset. And shocked. Sad, confused, and numb. And about a dozen other things all at once.

The first question my friends have all asked me was: did I see it coming?

No, I did not see it coming. It's the last thing I was expecting. It seems to have happened out of the clear blue sky.

The funny thing is, years went by, when I was a kid, when I expected them to split up at any moment. Hoped they would, even, just to get it over with and have some peace in the house. But now? After they finally survived all the years of endless conflict and they're in the home stretch leading to their elder years? Why suddenly throw it all away? Things had finally calmed down and the affection in the house seemed to outweigh the irritation.

So far I've only heard my mom's side of the story. I don't want to start making judgements about the situation until I've heard my step-dad's side too.

In the meantime, as it slowly sinks in, I'm feeling pretty stressed out. I won't even know for sure what's going to happen for at least another week, it seems. They have not finalized their decision, yet. So we hang in limbo, not knowing.

I've been having nightmares. Last night King Kong was coming to get me. The night before that, Angry Walrus Dad from American Chopper was yelling at me.

I know I'm having a strong reaction because food is starting to be a problem. Eating is still OK (I have to be pretty far gone before that's an issue), but I'm already finding that my brain freezes up in the kitchen when I'm supposed to be doing something as simple as preparing steamed broccoli. It's very inconvenient.


R.E.H. said...

Sorry to hear it. And, out of the blue like that.

Well, hopefully it is a decision they both feel is right for them, and that it doesn't turn into one of those ugly break-ups!

Jenski said...

I am really sorry to hear this. You already answered what my first question would have been - how are *you* doing? I hope for everyone involved that it is a decision your parents are comfortable with so that it is amicable.

In the meantime, no spicey food before bed - that will only make the nightmares worse!

Anonymous said...

Gosh, I don't know what to say...and I guess nothing I say would change the situation anyway...

I hope you can find a way to maintain peace in your own life and that you can have hope that our lives aren't a collection of random events, but rather, carefully constructed appointments to fulfill a bigger plan.

Try to find some calm - maybe even at the bottom of a bottle of "sparking red" and an empty t.v. dinner? : )

Kell said...

I'm sorry to hear that. I've heard of situations like this, where it seems that just when things have finally settled into being peaceful, they split up. I don't understand it either. I hope things calm down and you feel more centered again soon. The microwavable steamed veggies in a pack are pretty darn good and easy.

BTW, I forgot that you were doing the blogging every day challenge! I need to catch up!

Maxie said...

I'm so sorry you have to go through this. When I was like 15 my parents said they were separating. After a while they got back together, but I remember how horrible it was.

Let me know if you ever need to talk. Seriously.

Sarah O. said...

How sad. It makes you realize how important family is. Think about it: Even 30-somethings don't want to see their parents break up.

On a lighter note, I'm not sure if a nightmare about the American Chopper dad is horrible or comical.

Karen said...

So sorry to hear that. I hope that you can maintain a quality relationship with everyone. It is so hard to be in the "middle".

jameil1922 said...

awww. have you talked to your dad abt it? i hope things work out for the best for everyone. my parents fought a lot when they were married so i was glad when they got divorced.

tamara said...

wow. so sorry to hear this bit of news.

i hope everything works out for the best for everyone involved, including you.

The Ex said...

That's rough. Hope they work it out!

honestyrain said...

oh no. i'm really sorry to hear that and hope you can come to terms with your parents' new lives before too long - for your own well-being.


San said...

Sorry I didn't see this post sooner.

If it makes you feel any better, I know a woman whose parents divorced when they were headed into those golden years. To top it off, the father then proceeded to marry the mother's "best" friend. It all created psychic havoc for my friend but only for a time. She got better.

I'm nevertheless sorry you're in distress. HUG.