Thursday, January 3, 2008


One of my colleagues was in the kitchen when I went in to use the microwave. Packed by his loving wife, his entire lunch consisted of sliced, leftover sweet potatoes. A lot of them. And was he happy with this? Oh my, yes! For he is a Health Foodie.

I worked in the Health Food retail business for four years, so I can tell you with authority: Hardcore Health Foodies get totally obsessed with their dietary choices. Back in the day, I used to work with a guy who was a nutritional consultant and personal trainer. He had very, very odd eating habits.

He used to run into the store at the beginning of his shift with oven mitts on, carrying a hot, cast-iron frying pan that he had brought from his apartment a few blocks away. Inside the frying pan was his lunch: a pound of unseasoned brown lentils. No butter. No salt. No nuthin'.

I like lentils and all, but I don't think I could swallow that many in one sitting, dry and sauceless as they were.

Other lunches I saw him "enjoy" included 2 pounds of boiled potatoes, and (on a different day) a pound of plain baked meat. His serving sizes were always measured in pounds, and his meals never contained more than a single ingredient. He claimed that this was better for his digestion.

Could I argue? I never saw a man with such clear skin, I'll tell you that much.

I only knew him to get sick once. He dosed himself with strong ginger tea in which he had steeped several cloves of garlic, and loaded with a huge amount of cayenne pepper. Mmmm, delish! Amazingly, this is a popular natural remedy. I have never tried it myself because cayenne tends to burn holes in my digestive tract.

Relative to the average diet, I'd say I'm pretty health-conscious. But not obsessive. I'll eat potato chips - just not every day. As they say, A little bit of what you love does you good.


Maxie said...

Wow, I bet his breath smelled GREAT after he drank the tea with garlic steeped in it, lol.

Tequila Mockingbird said...

that's vile.

today i had chicken fingers from the market across the street. they always give me a cup of cheese from their nacho area for me to dip it in.

granted, once i hit 30 and my metabolism slows down, i'll be on the health food band wagon, but for now i dont do stomach crunches, push ups and yoga to eat grass and beans.

Karen said...

Growing up, when we got sick my mom made us drink hot tea with cayenne and Jack Daniels. Nothing like boozing up your 12 year old, right?

However, my dad's family who was "right off the boat", as they say, from Poland - suggested shots of kerosene to cure illness. Thank goodness my dad never allowed us to do that because I think Child Protection Services may have taken us away for that stuff.

jameil1922 said...

those diets are scary. very scary. the body is amazing to put up with all of it. if I was a body i would rebel. but that's just me. the only thing i eat regularly is french fries-- almost daily. yesterday 2xs.

R.E.H. said...

I can't quite understand these health freaks. I mean - eat healthy is a good idea, just don't go overboard with it!

Gotta have me some junk food, potato chips and chocolate's every now and then right? I also want to enjoy life!

jenski said...

One ingredient food is boring. And ewww to the ginger, garlic, and cayenne. I could definitely see the tea with Jack Daniels working. :) What is it that cayenne is supposed to do? I might have to try out some of these things if I can't kick this cold...Maybe not the kerosene.

Sparkling Red said...

Maxie: He always had weird breath. It was worst after he ate a pound of baked meat.

T. Mockingbird: "The nacho area" sounds like a euphemism for something vaguely dirty.
How did you know that grass'n'beans is my favourite?

Karen: Wow. That's hardcore.

Jameil: I love good french fries. I could never forsake them.

R.E.H.: What would life be without comfort foods? A cold, hard, unforgiving place.